{"id":6873,"date":"2019-11-06T08:25:46","date_gmt":"2019-11-06T13:25:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=6873"},"modified":"2019-11-05T22:05:49","modified_gmt":"2019-11-06T03:05:49","slug":"id-be-lying-if-i-claimed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/id-be-lying-if-i-claimed\/","title":{"rendered":"I&#8217;d Be Lying If I Claimed"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-24\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/k-avatar-e1443983846496.png\" alt=\"by Kent\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>buy myself flowers<\/li>\n<li>\u201cRodney! You can\u2019t be here!\u201d<\/li>\n<li>the use of obscene languages<\/li>\n<li>mermaid-themed birthday parties<\/li>\n<li>\u201cHm,\u201d said the voice.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 438 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;d be lying if I claimed to derive no pleasure from enacting the ceremony with Yesterday, but it was a relief nevertheless to send all five people away from my bedchamber and have a few moments of solitude. The import of what had just transpired slowly soaked in, and when I realized how auspicious it could be I decided to <em>buy myself flowers<\/em>. Then I decided that could wait, and I stretched out on my bed to doze a bit.<\/p>\n<p>A shrill voice woke me, yelling, <em>&#8220;Rodney! You can&#8217;t be here!&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>This was how I learned that the fox had a name. The person shrilly yelling at Rodney wore the uniform of the fortress&#8217;s groundskeeping force, the Enigmatic Gardeners. He was squirming under my bed, apparently attempting to wrangle the fox through t<em>he use of obscene languages<\/em> and awkward bodily movements.<\/p>\n<p>I cleared my throat. The groundskeeper sprang to his feet and saluted. &#8220;Terribly sorry, General. I didn&#8217;t expect you to be in your chambers at such an hour.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Although there was a voice in my head urging me to wreak dire punishment on this man for his insubordination, I decided to keep things simple. &#8220;Leave the fox alone, and get out of here,&#8221; I said with a sigh.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;At least you&#8217;ll still have the fox this way,&#8221; said the voice in my head.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Sorry again, General. Rodney is needed in the courtyard, for the Spring Scampering.&#8221; He registered my baffled expression and explained. &#8220;It&#8217;s much like a maypole dance, but the ribbons are affixed to helper animals like our Rodney. It&#8217;s an important festival, and is one of the two reasons that Enigma Fortress has such a grand courtyard. The other being, as I&#8217;m sure you&#8217;ve guessed, hosting <em>mermaid-themed birthday parties<\/em>. Make a right mint off those, yes sir!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><em>&#8220;Hm,&#8221; said the voice.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>buy myself flowers \u201cRodney! You can\u2019t be here!\u201d the use of obscene languages mermaid-themed birthday parties \u201cHm,\u201d said the voice. Tune in next time part 438 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments I&#8217;d be lying if I claimed to derive no pleasure from enacting the ceremony with Yesterday, but it was a relief nevertheless [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[75,403],"class_list":["post-6873","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-fox","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6873","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6873"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6873\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6878,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6873\/revisions\/6878"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6873"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6873"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6873"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}