{"id":6834,"date":"2019-10-14T08:36:59","date_gmt":"2019-10-14T12:36:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=6834"},"modified":"2019-10-13T18:41:15","modified_gmt":"2019-10-13T22:41:15","slug":"summon-my-zeppelin","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/summon-my-zeppelin\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;Summon My Zeppelin&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar-e1443983489508.png\" alt=\"by jen\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>going utterly numb<\/li>\n<li>light fixtures had long ago been stolen<\/li>\n<li>with such instructors<\/li>\n<li>with just ten minutes and a chair<\/li>\n<li>kill him and eat him<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 431 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Summon my zeppelin,&#8221; I ordered.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;m sorry to say that there&#8217;s a blizzard,&#8221; said YoYo, not sounding sorry at all. &#8220;Your zeppelin is grounded. You will be alerted immediately when it is safe to take to the skies. In the meantime, these jeans are so tight my bottom is <em>going utterly numb<\/em>. Surely you&#8217;d like to help me remove them.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Perhaps some other time.&#8221; I groped about in the dimness. &#8220;Dammit, where&#8217;s the light switch?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It&#8217;s right here,&#8221; said YoYo. &#8220;But it won&#8217;t do you any good.&#8221; She explained that the <em>light fixtures had long ago been stolen<\/em>\u00a0by marauding Harmonians. &#8220;Now about these jeans.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;If I&#8217;m to act as Harry&#8217;s lawyer, I need to brush up on Contrarian Law.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>YoYo placed my hands upon her zipper. &#8220;I&#8217;ve heard that you were educated at The Hopscotch Academy. <em>With such instructors<\/em> as they have there I&#8217;m sure you know more about Contrarian Law than most Contrarian lawyers.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;There&#8217;s no way that&#8217;s possible. All things Contrarian are ridiculously complicated.&#8221; I looked sternly at her. &#8220;What game are you playing, Yolanda?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I will show you, <em>with just ten minutes and a chair<\/em>, and maybe a little bit of whipped cream.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The thought of YoYo (or myself) covered in whipped cream was too much, and I gave in. The snow was too heavy for my zeppelin to return me to my wife, it was too dark to study for my upcoming legal duties, I had already had sex with YoYo and survived, so no matter what her plan was I felt pretty safe. Plus if she was naked it would be easy to search her for hidden weapons.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Just once more,&#8221; I said, stripping her tight jeans off. &#8220;After all, what&#8217;s the worst that can happen?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;If Harry is found guilty his accusers are allowed to\u00a0<em>kill him and eat him<\/em>,&#8221; YoYo purred, pushing me back onto my feather mattress and startling the fox.<\/p>\n<p>I guess it&#8217;s a good thing I never liked Harry very much anyway.<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>going utterly numb light fixtures had long ago been stolen with such instructors with just ten minutes and a chair kill him and eat him Tune in next time part 431 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments &#8220;Summon my zeppelin,&#8221; I ordered. &#8220;I&#8217;m sorry to say that there&#8217;s a blizzard,&#8221; said YoYo, not sounding [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,341,182,403,486],"class_list":["post-6834","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-clothes","tag-sex","tag-tune-in-next-time","tag-zeppelin"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6834","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6834"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6834\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6840,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6834\/revisions\/6840"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6834"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6834"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6834"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}