{"id":6040,"date":"2018-12-05T08:33:31","date_gmt":"2018-12-05T13:33:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=6040"},"modified":"2018-12-02T22:16:38","modified_gmt":"2018-12-03T03:16:38","slug":"were-losin-altitude","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/were-losin-altitude\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;We&#8217;re Losin&#8217; Altitude&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-24\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/k-avatar-e1443983846496.png\" alt=\"by Kent\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>\u201cI\u2019m calling your father,\u201d she snapped.<\/li>\n<li>stands awkwardly outside the door while she pees<\/li>\n<li>not a crease in my coat<\/li>\n<li>where I will inflate my balloon<\/li>\n<li>in lurid detail<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 342 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;We&#8217;re losin&#8217; altitude,&#8221; Jim drawled. &#8220;Looks like a gull got through the hull.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;A zeppelin does not have a hull,&#8221; Fleur said. &#8220;It&#8217;s an envelope.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Jim smiled crookedly. &#8220;But those birds don&#8217;t rhyme with envelope. Anyway, there&#8217;s a puncture and the gas is escaping.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Fleur handed him the babies, then stormed over to the cargo door nearest the piano and hauled it open. In seconds she&#8217;d unlocked the baby grand&#8217;s casters and shoved it overboard, silvery dove lamp and all.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;How could you!&#8221; screeched Isolde as our descent leveled off. Isolde and Fleur stood glaring at each other, their hair whipped by the wind coming through the open door. I wondered which one of them would be tumbling out after the piano.<\/p>\n<p>Isolde shut the cargo door. <em>&#8220;I&#8217;m calling your father,&#8221; she snapped.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Isn&#8217;t he your father too?&#8221; I blurted.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;We&#8217;re half-sisters,&#8221; Fleur explained. &#8220;To me, he&#8217;s daddy. To Isolde, he&#8217;s just the man who <em>stands awkwardly outside the door while she pees<\/em>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;That was one time at the mall, when I was five!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I let their argument distract the women and turned to my brother. &#8220;What&#8217;s our situation now, Jim?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>He was rocking the infant twins, steering the ship with his knees. &#8220;There is not a red light on the control panel, and <em>not a crease in my coat<\/em>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;You&#8217;re not wearing a coat.&#8221; Or a shirt.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;And this panel hasn&#8217;t got any lights, red or otherwise. But we do appear to be stable at the moment. The auxiliary gas supply is keeping up with the leakage. At least for now.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>We each glanced upwards, knowing what this was leading up to. One of us was going to have to go up there and make repairs.<\/p>\n<p>Jim cracked the crooked smile again and sang, &#8220;Fly me to the green lagoon, for that is <em>where I will inflate my balloon<\/em>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>While I gritted my teeth, Jim sang another twelve verses. The lagoon and the balloon were metaphors, and not subtle ones, as the even-numbered verses portrayed <em>in lurid detail<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Okay!&#8221; I finally shouted. &#8220;I&#8217;ll fix the envelope.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cI\u2019m calling your father,\u201d she snapped. stands awkwardly outside the door while she pees not a crease in my coat where I will inflate my balloon in lurid detail Tune in next time part 342 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments &#8220;We&#8217;re losin&#8217; altitude,&#8221; Jim drawled. &#8220;Looks like a gull got through the hull.&#8221; [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[403],"class_list":["post-6040","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6040","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6040"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6040\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6047,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6040\/revisions\/6047"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6040"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6040"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6040"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}