{"id":58,"date":"2012-06-11T08:00:24","date_gmt":"2012-06-11T12:00:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.skelleyverse.com\/?p=58"},"modified":"2014-01-04T20:52:18","modified_gmt":"2014-01-05T01:52:18","slug":"fernando-was-no","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/fernando-was-no\/","title":{"rendered":"Fernando Was Not"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>It gave birth<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright  wp-image-13\" style=\"color: #444444; font-family: Georgia, 'Bitstream Charter', serif; line-height: 1.5; border-style: initial; border-color: initial; margin-top: 4px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 12px; margin-left: 24px; float: right; display: inline; border-width: 0px;\" title=\"j-avatar\" alt=\"by jen\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar.png\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/><\/li>\n<li>Negligence and so forth<\/li>\n<li>the three-trailer-long house<\/li>\n<li>wrapped in brown paper<\/li>\n<li>He was almost bald<\/li>\n<li>And fell and fell and fell.<\/li>\n<li>shaped like a Hershey&#8217;s Kiss or a woman&#8217;s breast<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Fernando was not an attractive man. <em>He was almost bald<\/em>, for one thing. To disguise his naked scalp, he kept it <em>wrapped in brown paper<\/em> which made it seem <em>shaped like a Hershey&#8217;s Kiss or a woman&#8217;s breast<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Fernando spent most of his time alone in <em>the three-trailer-long house<\/em> he called his Triplex of Solitude. It was three Airstream campers welded together.<\/p>\n<div>\n<p>Fernando&#8217;s days were spent daydreaming about hot celebrities he saw on the internet. His favorite fantasy was about how Angelina Jolie fell in love with him. <em>And fell and fell and fell.<\/em> She would parade around the Triplex, in Fernando&#8217;s fevered imaginings, wearing skimpy underwear. &#8220;<em>Negligence and so forth<\/em>,&#8221; he\u00a0murmured.<\/p>\n<p>Fernando was also not very bright.<\/p>\n<p>His musings were interrupted one day by his pet turtle. <em>It gave birth<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It gave birth Negligence and so forth the three-trailer-long house wrapped in brown paper He was almost bald And fell and fell and fell. shaped like a Hershey&#8217;s Kiss or a woman&#8217;s breast Fernando was not an attractive man. He was almost bald, for one thing. To disguise his naked scalp, he kept it wrapped [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[335,328,25],"class_list":["post-58","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-animal","tag-celebrity","tag-triplex-of-solitude"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=58"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2054,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/58\/revisions\/2054"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=58"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=58"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=58"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}