{"id":5661,"date":"2018-05-28T08:34:50","date_gmt":"2018-05-28T12:34:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=5661"},"modified":"2018-05-26T18:05:19","modified_gmt":"2018-05-26T22:05:19","slug":"jason-folded-his-arms-flamboyantly","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/jason-folded-his-arms-flamboyantly\/","title":{"rendered":"Jason Folded His Arms Flamboyantly"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar-e1443983489508.png\" alt=\"by jen\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>chocolate ice cream on his upper lip<\/li>\n<li>\u201cNo, that isn\u2019t elegant.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>only I can see her<\/li>\n<li>the rat-faced one<\/li>\n<li>I\u2019m pissed off and grossed out<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 287 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<b>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<\/b><\/strong><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Jason folded his arms flamboyantly across his chest, but his posturing was ruined by the <em>chocolate ice cream on his upper lip<\/em>. Not that the mimes noticed or cared. They all pretended to clap.<\/p>\n<p>I laid Tesla in the underbrush and moved rapidly to a position in the shadows, but still near enough to Jason that I could pounce on him if necessary.<\/p>\n<p>The woman who had been singing before Jason&#8217;s arrival started up again, a bastardized version of Frosty the Snowman this time. As she sang she stepped into the firelight. Her face was obscured behind a thick layer of whiteface and a big red rubber nose. She approached my brother, holding out the ruffled muff of a clown as if it were a lei.<\/p>\n<p>Jason shook his head. <em>&#8220;No, that isn&#8217;t elegant.&#8221;<\/em> He took a step backward when she insisted. &#8220;It will ruin the lines of my cape.&#8221; He couldn&#8217;t retreat any further without stepping into the fire.<\/p>\n<p>The woman worked her reply into her song. &#8220;Remove your cape, you won&#8217;t need it anyway.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Oh shit. This was some sort of mime\/clown fertility ritual. I recognized the trappings now that it was too late to do anything about it.<\/p>\n<p>Jason dropped his cape beside the bonfire. The mimes all tied imaginary blindfolds over their eyes. The woman slipped out of her rainbow striped leotard, exposing the robotic unicorn tattoo on her ass.<\/p>\n<p>Tessa!<\/p>\n<p>I murmured to myself, &#8220;With the mimes all blindfolded, <em>only I can see her<\/em> true identity.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>One of the mimes, <em>the rat-faced one<\/em> on the far right, cocked his head like he&#8217;d heard me. And suddenly I didn&#8217;t care.<\/p>\n<p>As Tessa and Jason embraced in a greasy smear of makeup and squeaking nose noises, I strode out and said, &#8220;<em>I&#8217;m pissed off and grossed out<\/em> in equal measure. What the hell do you think you&#8217;re doing, Tessa? I thought we meant something to each other, and here you are naked with my brother!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Unfortunately my tirade woke Tesla, who jumped to her feet, suddenly reminding me that I&#8217;d slept with several of Tessa&#8217;s sisters and probably didn&#8217;t have any grounds for my outburst.<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>chocolate ice cream on his upper lip \u201cNo, that isn\u2019t elegant.\u201d only I can see her the rat-faced one I\u2019m pissed off and grossed out Tune in next time part 287 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments Jason folded his arms flamboyantly across his [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,142,112,221,403],"class_list":["post-5661","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-clown","tag-mime","tag-music","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5661","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5661"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5661\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5668,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5661\/revisions\/5668"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5661"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5661"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5661"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}