{"id":5608,"date":"2018-04-30T08:28:11","date_gmt":"2018-04-30T12:28:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=5608"},"modified":"2018-04-29T21:07:09","modified_gmt":"2018-04-30T01:07:09","slug":"i-tried-to-psych-myself-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/i-tried-to-psych-myself-up\/","title":{"rendered":"I Tried to Psych Myself Up"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar-e1443983489508.png\" alt=\"by jen\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>there will be bubbles<\/li>\n<li>adjacent to the boat ramp<\/li>\n<li>rubbed his hands with unspeakable glee<\/li>\n<li>broadcasting their raw footage<\/li>\n<li>(read: your crotch)<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 279 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<b>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<\/b><\/strong><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/p>\n<p>I tried to psych myself up for my upcoming swim in the sewage. &#8220;When you stir the shit <em>there will be bubbles<\/em>,&#8221; I muttered. &#8220;It&#8217;s inevitable.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Before letting go of my leather strap, I clenched every orifice I had.<\/p>\n<p>I counted to three and released my grip.<\/p>\n<p>I fell about two feet before my heels jarred on a narrow metal catwalk that spanned the mineshaft. My breath gushed out and my feet stung from the impact. At least I wasn&#8217;t swimming in shit.<\/p>\n<p>I looked to one end of the catwalk where it seemed to disappear into a tunnel in the wall. I looked the other way and saw a dark-cloaked figure hurrying away from me, Tesla over his shoulder.<\/p>\n<p>I gave chase as quickly as my sore feet would allow. When I reached the wall I encountered steep metal stairs leading down toward the poop smell, and a few flights ahead of me I could make out Tesla&#8217;s abductor\/rescuer. I followed.<\/p>\n<p>We descended for several minutes, the stench growing with each step. At the bottom I stood on an algae-covered boulder <em>adjacent to the boat ramp<\/em> where the cloaked figure was lowering Tesla&#8217;s unconscious form into a fanciful, swan-shaped pedal boat. That task completed, he stood and <em>rubbed his hands with unspeakable glee<\/em>. He preened for the security cameras along the ceiling that were <em>broadcasting their raw footage<\/em> of the raw sewage to who knew where.<\/p>\n<p>The cloaked figure spotted me and said, &#8220;Don&#8217;t come any closer or I&#8217;ll kick you in your tender giblets<em> (read: your crotch)<\/em>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>As if I didn&#8217;t know what tender giblets were.<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>there will be bubbles adjacent to the boat ramp rubbed his hands with unspeakable glee broadcasting their raw footage (read: your crotch) Tune in next time part 279 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments I tried to psych myself up for my upcoming swim [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[357,91,500,403],"class_list":["post-5608","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-boat","tag-bonus-points","tag-poop","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5608","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5608"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5608\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5615,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5608\/revisions\/5615"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5608"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5608"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5608"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}