{"id":5239,"date":"2017-11-20T20:10:11","date_gmt":"2017-11-21T01:10:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=5239"},"modified":"2018-02-19T15:58:20","modified_gmt":"2018-02-19T20:58:20","slug":"dont-say-a-goddamn-word-darlene","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/dont-say-a-goddamn-word-darlene\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;Don&#8217;t Say a Goddamn Word, Darlene&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar-e1443983489508.png\" alt=\"by jen\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>bounced his face on the pavement<\/li>\n<li>when he visits Bermuda to golf<\/li>\n<li>Jack\u2019s a doughnut<\/li>\n<li>couldn\u2019t understand why Darlene<\/li>\n<li>refused to return to his bed<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 233 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<\/strong><b>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<\/b><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Don&#8217;t say a goddamn word, Darlene,&#8221; Cleopatra snapped.<\/p>\n<p>The Asian woman squeaked and hid her face behind the curtains, disappearing completely. My father leapt to his feet, slipped, and <em>bounced his face on the pavement<\/em>. But since the pavement in this room was black velvet, just like everything else, he just wound up with a rug burn. It reminded me of how sunburnt he gets <em>when he visits Bermuda to golf<\/em> and forgets to apply sunscreen.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Darlene!&#8221; Dad yelled. &#8220;C&#8217;mon back, baby. We&#8217;ll kick these interlopers out and lock the door.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Esmerelda said disgustedly, &#8220;<em>Jack&#8217;s a doughnut<\/em>, and he doesn&#8217;t care who&#8217;s cup of coffee he gets dunked in.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Too true,&#8221; Cleopatra said.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Neither of you minded when it was your coffee I was dunking in,&#8221; Dad snarked as he made his way to the wall where Darlene disappeared. He started patting it down, searching for her and calling her name.<\/p>\n<p>I knew this was all a ruse, a show put on to distract me from my pointed questions.<\/p>\n<p>I stood with my arms crossed over my chest, watching Dad pretend that he <em>couldn&#8217;t understand why Darlene refused to return to his bed<\/em>, thinking about Esmerelda and Cleopatra. It was true that Cleopatra had lost her accent, but they were sisters, so that meant they were both Svenborgian. And since Esmerelda was an Underduchess, Cleopatra probably was, too. Maybe an Underduchess-once-removed. It was hard to remember all the rules for Svenborgian royal lineage. No matter her title, though, she had to know Viscount Arlo. They both did. They were most likely related to him somehow. And Dad didn&#8217;t care.<\/p>\n<p>It was imperative that I figure out what was going on. Without raising their suspicions.<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>bounced his face on the pavement when he visits Bermuda to golf Jack\u2019s a doughnut couldn\u2019t understand why Darlene refused to return to his bed Tune in next time part 233 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments &#8220;Don&#8217;t say a goddamn word, Darlene,&#8221; Cleopatra [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,331,182,350,403],"class_list":["post-5239","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-parent","tag-sex","tag-sister","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5239","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5239"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5239\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5440,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5239\/revisions\/5440"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5239"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5239"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5239"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}