{"id":5137,"date":"2017-10-09T08:29:45","date_gmt":"2017-10-09T12:29:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=5137"},"modified":"2017-10-08T13:45:18","modified_gmt":"2017-10-08T17:45:18","slug":"i-have-always-been-a-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/i-have-always-been-a-man\/","title":{"rendered":"I Have Always Been a Man"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar-e1443983489508.png\" alt=\"by jen\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>mistrusted his own senses more<\/li>\n<li>What kind of candy was it?<\/li>\n<li>I hope they jammed their fingers into him<\/li>\n<li>\u201cThe Devil\u2019s at the bottom of it, I\u2019m sure.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>My arse is killing me.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 221 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<\/strong><b>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<\/b><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/p>\n<p>I have always been a man who <em>mistrusted his own senses more<\/em> than most people do, largely due to all the mind games and psychedelics my parents employed in my upbringing, but I was sure that there was a candy bar strapped to the leg of Gordon the goose. <em>What kind of candy was it?<\/em> It was vitally important that I find out. It was likely the key to everything. If Esmerelda had resorted to something as dusty and disused as the washerwoman&#8217;s code, it only made sense that the confectioner&#8217;s code was also in play.<\/p>\n<p>As the gander continued to rub against Isaac&#8217;s pants, I crouched and deftly unstrapped the candy bar from his scaly leg. The wrapper was unfamiliar, but the lettering looked Tibetan. Whoever sent this message, <em>I hope they jammed their fingers into Him<\/em>alayan mittens before frostbite set in.<\/p>\n<p>Isaac peered at the exotic candy in my hand, her eyes wide. <em>&#8220;The Devil&#8217;s at the bottom of it, I&#8217;m sure.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;The Devil&#8221; is what a lot of people called my father.<\/p>\n<p>Gordon didn&#8217;t like being ignored. With a loud honk he nipped Isaac. She yelped and scolded the bird, then stood rubbing her rump. &#8220;We need to get out of here, find a place to stow Gordon. <em>My arse is killing me. <\/em>You&#8217;ll need to check it for me to make sure he didn&#8217;t break the skin.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>While the thought of examining Isaac&#8217;s arse would normally have been quite intriguing, I was currently much more concerned about the chocolate bar in my hand. I remembered John&#8217;s childhood spent in the Tibetan monastery. If the message really had been sent by my father, things were very dire indeed.<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>mistrusted his own senses more What kind of candy was it? I hope they jammed their fingers into him \u201cThe Devil\u2019s at the bottom of it, I\u2019m sure.\u201d My arse is killing me. Tune in next time part 221 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[336,91,415,342,392,403],"class_list":["post-5137","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bird","tag-bonus-points","tag-candy","tag-food","tag-goose","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5137","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5137"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5137\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5150,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5137\/revisions\/5150"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5137"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5137"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5137"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}