{"id":4851,"date":"2017-05-29T08:28:50","date_gmt":"2017-05-29T12:28:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=4851"},"modified":"2017-05-28T17:03:40","modified_gmt":"2017-05-28T21:03:40","slug":"i-would-kill-for-a-cup-of-coffee","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/i-would-kill-for-a-cup-of-coffee\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;I Would Kill For a Cup of Coffee&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar-e1443983489508.png\" alt=\"by jen\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>\u201cYou\u2019re supposed to know!\u201d<\/li>\n<li>not using a pseudonym<\/li>\n<li>the baffled animal beneath me<\/li>\n<li>so cheesy and dramatic<\/li>\n<li>Jennifer\u2019s wedding band<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 183\u00a0<\/strong><b>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/b><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I would kill for a cup of coffee,&#8221; I said. Those scorpion donuts made me thirsty.<\/p>\n<p>The strip-tease waitress just looked at me askance and moved away, shimmying her hips and not pouring any coffee. Mother smacked the back of my head. &#8220;That was a code phrase!&#8221; she whispered angrily. <em>&#8220;You&#8217;re supposed to know!&#8221;<\/em> She whacked me again like I was a puppy that piddled on the carpet. &#8220;After all that tuition I paid to the Academy you&#8217;re supposed to know ALL the spy stuff! And here you are, ignorant of even the most common codes, running around Harmonia, <em>not using a pseudonym<\/em> or anything!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Oh, Mother wanted spycraft did she?<\/p>\n<p>I pushed past the patrons gathered around the stage, all of them hoisting tiny pitchers of maple syrup, ready to &#8220;make it rain&#8221; for the dancers. I leapt onto the stage, my saddle shoes skidding in a pool of melted butter. I caught myself on the gingham stripper pole and looked down at <em>the baffled animal beneath me<\/em>, Mother&#8217;s ape-like henchman standing stupidly at the edge of the stage.<\/p>\n<p>The music that was playing\u00a0was <em>so cheesy and dramatic<\/em> I couldn&#8217;t help but do a little bump and grind. I&#8217;m sure you know the song. It&#8217;s by that weird group <em>Jennifer&#8217;s Wedding Band<\/em>. The audience erupted into hoots and boos, and in the ensuing chaos I was able to run backstage. I almost made it out the back door, but was stopped in my tracks.<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cYou\u2019re supposed to know!\u201d not using a pseudonym the baffled animal beneath me so cheesy and dramatic Jennifer\u2019s wedding band Tune in next time part 183\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments &#8220;I would kill for a cup of coffee,&#8221; I said. Those scorpion [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,342,403],"class_list":["post-4851","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-food","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4851","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4851"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4851\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4856,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4851\/revisions\/4856"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4851"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4851"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4851"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}