{"id":4838,"date":"2017-05-22T08:11:09","date_gmt":"2017-05-22T12:11:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=4838"},"modified":"2017-05-21T16:53:12","modified_gmt":"2017-05-21T20:53:12","slug":"as-soon-as-i-regained-consciousness-i-wished-i-hadnt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/as-soon-as-i-regained-consciousness-i-wished-i-hadnt\/","title":{"rendered":"As Soon As I Regained Consciousness, I Wished I Hadn&#8217;t"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar-e1443983489508.png\" alt=\"by jen\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>a fully clothed woman<\/li>\n<li>the world is a terrifying place<\/li>\n<li>extensive waist of their corpulent host<\/li>\n<li>pay $200 for sex in a Manhattan hotel<\/li>\n<li>before you compelled her to marry me<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 181\u00a0<\/strong><b>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/b><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/p>\n<p>As soon as I regained consciousness, I wished I hadn&#8217;t. <em>A fully clothed woman<\/em> was standing over me, and I recognized her immediately.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Mother.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>She looked down at me, smiling that cold smile of hers. &#8220;When you are a parent, <em>the world is a terrifying place<\/em>,&#8221; she said. &#8220;You are always worried that your child will commit some unforgivable faux pas, such as attending an embassy soiree and mocking the <em>extensive waist of their corpulent host<\/em>, thus creating an international incident.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>That was something\u00a0Thor, Freya, Jim, and Jason had done, each on separate occasions. Did she think I was my twin?<\/p>\n<p>She went on, staring down at me. &#8220;Or perhaps your child will grow up to\u00a0be the sort to\u00a0<em>pay $200 for sex in a Manhattan hotel<\/em> with an undercover cop.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Ah shit, she knew I wasn&#8217;t Jason.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;You&#8217;re still pissed off about that, Mom?&#8221; I asked. &#8220;It&#8217;s been years.&#8221; I wanted to ask her how long she&#8217;d been employing ninjas, but had to work up to it.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Of course I&#8217;m still pissed off about it! Your recklessness nearly ruined things with the Contrarians!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;That&#8217;s bullshit, Mom. Fleur and I came to an agreement <em>before you compelled her to marry me<\/em>. She didn&#8217;t care who I slept with.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Of course not, but her father was horrified that your budget was so low! He was sure it meant I was bluffing about\u00a0how much money the US had on hand for our weapons deal.&#8221; She sighed and shook her head. &#8220;And now you&#8217;re at it again, embarrassing me on an international level. What on Earth are you wearing?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I realized I was still in the lace jumpsuit.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;You&#8217;d better change,&#8221; she said. &#8220;There will be tons of photographers at the airport.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Where are you taking me, Mother?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Her cold, cold smile was her only reply.<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>a fully clothed woman the world is a terrifying place extensive waist of their corpulent host pay $200 for sex in a Manhattan hotel before you compelled her to marry me Tune in next time part 181\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments As [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,331,403],"class_list":["post-4838","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-parent","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4838","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4838"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4838\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4843,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4838\/revisions\/4843"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4838"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4838"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4838"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}