{"id":4415,"date":"2016-12-05T08:20:33","date_gmt":"2016-12-05T13:20:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=4415"},"modified":"2016-12-04T14:01:26","modified_gmt":"2016-12-04T19:01:26","slug":"tallulah-kept-me-confined-to-the-bathroom","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tallulah-kept-me-confined-to-the-bathroom\/","title":{"rendered":"Tallulah Kept Me Confined to the Bathroom All Night"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar-e1443983489508.png\" alt=\"by jen\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>kissed each other good morning<\/li>\n<li>she was going to carry a hammer to work<\/li>\n<li>four years earlier, nearly to the day<\/li>\n<li><em>another<\/em> human skull<\/li>\n<li>Oh hell<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 133\u00a0<\/strong><b>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/b><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Tallulah kept me confined to\u00a0the bathroom all night. Between the arms merchants and their monkey robot plans out in the dining room, the occasional visits from the busybody janitor, the knowledge that my wife could discover us any minute, and the unhinged look in Tallulah&#8217;s eyes and her talk of blood &#8212; well, let&#8217;s just say that I was having trouble wrapping things up.<\/p>\n<p>With\u00a0superhuman stamina and dedication, Tallulah saw things through to the bitter end. When it finally happened, we <em>kissed each other good morning<\/em> and, at last, disengaged.<\/p>\n<p>The next thing I knew\u00a0Tallulah was glaring at my crotch and angrily telling the voice from the camera that there was no way <em>she was going to &#8220;carry a hammer to work<\/em>&#8221; again tonight.<\/p>\n<p>I\u00a0thought back to the last time she&#8217;d carried my hammer. It was\u00a0<em>four years earlier, nearly to the day<\/em>. Tessa had left me and I was on a bender. I had just ordered my favorite drink when Tallulah joined me at the bar. &#8220;Don&#8217;t tell me\u00a0you&#8217;re having <em><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">another<\/span> Human Skull. <\/em>Those things will kill you.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The rest of that night was a blur, much like the last night, and, really, every night with Tallulah.<\/p>\n<p>I struggled to my feet and was trying to make myself look presentable when the door flew open, admitting Taylor, Tara, and Tanya, Tallulah&#8217;s younger sisters. On their own they were formidable &#8211; working as a team, deadly. And they followed Tallulah&#8217;s orders to a T.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;<em>Oh hell<\/em>,&#8221; I said.<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>kissed each other good morning she was going to carry a hammer to work four years earlier, nearly to the day another human skull Oh hell Tune in next time part 133\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments Tallulah kept me confined to\u00a0the bathroom [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,182,350,403],"class_list":["post-4415","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-sex","tag-sister","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4415","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4415"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4415\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4440,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4415\/revisions\/4440"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4415"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4415"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4415"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}