{"id":4412,"date":"2016-11-28T08:12:05","date_gmt":"2016-11-28T13:12:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=4412"},"modified":"2016-11-27T14:16:25","modified_gmt":"2016-11-27T19:16:25","slug":"my-husband-is-president-of-the-united-states","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/my-husband-is-president-of-the-united-states\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;My Husband is President of the United States&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar-e1443983489508.png\" alt=\"by jen\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>we&#8217;re crawling into your bed<\/li>\n<li>skating together and holding hands<\/li>\n<li>had not originated from her<\/li>\n<li>the Rorschach inkblot<\/li>\n<li>Don&#8217;t be mealy-mouthed about it.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 131\u00a0<\/strong><b>\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/b><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;My husband is the president of the United States,&#8221; Tallulah breathed in my ear. &#8220;Not some Contrarian janitor.&#8221; She looked over her shoulder at our dapperly uniformed audience. &#8220;Although now that you mention it&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Wait,&#8221; I said. &#8220;You&#8217;re married to Thor? Since when?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Tallulah threw her head back and laughed. &#8220;<em>Don&#8217;t be mealy-mouthed about it.<\/em> Your family has such hangups!&#8221; Her unusual blue-black eyes met mine. &#8220;You&#8217;re blushing like <em>the Rorschach inkblot<\/em>s they used to show me, back\u00a0at the academy.&#8221; She began her relentless gyrations upon me again, and I was helpless to resist.<\/p>\n<p>A clearing of the throat broke my trance and I looked at Tallulah, but the sound <em>had not originated from her<\/em>. The janitor said, &#8220;You two look really happy, <em>skating together and holding hands<\/em>, or whatever it is you call that, but I need you to move. There&#8217;s a big clog in the ladies&#8217; room.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Tallulah used my joystick to steer me away from the door and into one of the stalls. &#8220;The minute we&#8217;re done here we&#8217;re leaving this place and <em>we&#8217;re crawling into your bed<\/em>, and we&#8217;re not leaving it for a week.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>My eyes crossed at the thought, but I managed to stammer, &#8220;But Thor&#8217;s in trouble. His blimp was hijacked by the Vegan Separatists.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Don&#8217;t you think I know that?&#8221; She increased the speed and intensity of her movements into an erotic frenzy. &#8220;I hired them! Working together, you and I will topple the governments of both the US and Contraria! Just like we talked about back in kindergarten!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in reverse order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>we&#8217;re crawling into your bed skating together and holding hands had not originated from her the Rorschach inkblot Don&#8217;t be mealy-mouthed about it. Tune in next time part 131\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments &#8220;My husband is the president of the United States,&#8221; [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,182,403],"class_list":["post-4412","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-sex","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4412","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4412"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4412\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4423,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4412\/revisions\/4423"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4412"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4412"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4412"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}