{"id":4230,"date":"2016-11-07T08:35:51","date_gmt":"2016-11-07T13:35:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=4230"},"modified":"2016-11-09T17:22:42","modified_gmt":"2016-11-09T22:22:42","slug":"you-know-how-a-guy-is-supposed-tp-think","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/you-know-how-a-guy-is-supposed-tp-think\/","title":{"rendered":"You Know How a Guy is Supposed to Think About Baseball"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar-e1443983489508.png\" alt=\"by jen\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>except his penis<\/li>\n<li>you know that&#8217;s not allowed<\/li>\n<li>applying his left thumb<\/li>\n<li>four-limbed, ape-inspired robot<\/li>\n<li>blue-gray eyes suddenly keen<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 125<\/strong><b>\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 <\/b><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/p>\n<p>You know how a guy is supposed to think about baseball to distract himself? I was like that guy, <em>except his penis<\/em> (my penis, if we&#8217;re being honest) didn&#8217;t cooperate.\u00a0Tallulah didn&#8217;t seem to mind. In fact, as I crossed the last few yards to our table, she wriggled almost imperceptibly in time with my waddling stride and suddenly I was engulfed.<\/p>\n<p>I whispered\u00a0down into my jacket, &#8220;<em>You know that&#8217;s not allowed<\/em>!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Tallulah&#8217;s\u00a0only reply was a tightening of her\u00a0grip.\u00a0Her arms clenched\u00a0my shoulders, her legs squeezed\u00a0my waist, her&#8230; well, you get the picture.<\/p>\n<p>I took both a steadying breath and my seat at the table, hoping Tallulah wouldn&#8217;t be too much of a distraction.<\/p>\n<p>The man to my left said, &#8220;Your mother sent us.&#8221; He pulled a roll of blueprints from his briefcase and spread them out on the table, <em>applying his left thumb<\/em> to the corner to hold it down.<\/p>\n<p>As Tallulah clenched and unclenched, I tried to make sense of what I was looking at. It seemed to be plans for some sort of crazy <em>four-limbed, ape-inspired robot<\/em>. And then I remembered Mother and Fleur&#8217;s father plotting at my wedding. They wanted to build an army of killbots, all designed to look like the deities of Contraria&#8217;s ancient enemies.<\/p>\n<p>I caught my reflection upside-down inside a spoon, my <em>blue-gray eyes suddenly keen<\/em>. I was surrounded by arms dealers, and, thanks to Tallulah, in a very awkward position.<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>except his penis you know that&#8217;s not allowed applying his left thumb four-limbed, ape-inspired robot blue-gray eyes suddenly keen Tune in next time part 125\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Click Here for Earlier Installments You know how a guy is supposed to think about baseball to [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,182,403],"class_list":["post-4230","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-sex","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4230","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4230"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4230\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4363,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4230\/revisions\/4363"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4230"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4230"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4230"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}