{"id":4217,"date":"2016-10-31T08:03:34","date_gmt":"2016-10-31T12:03:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=4217"},"modified":"2016-11-09T17:23:17","modified_gmt":"2016-11-09T22:23:17","slug":"as-i-lumbered","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/as-i-lumbered\/","title":{"rendered":"As I Lumbered Around the Table on My Way to the Loo"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar-e1443983489508.png\" alt=\"by jen\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>an extremely rare bluish black color almost unheard of in the US<\/li>\n<li>all five of them<\/li>\n<li>Boom.<\/li>\n<li>when I first let Nathaniel move in<\/li>\n<li>in a series of digital manipulations<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 123<\/strong><b>\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 <\/b><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/p>\n<p>As I lumbered around the table on my way to the loo, I was compelled to exchange greetings with\u00a0a great many people. I knew that Tessa&#8217;s bladder was about to burst, so I shook hands <em>in a series of digital manipulations<\/em> so blindingly fast I got cramps in all of my fingers.<\/p>\n<p>At last I burst into the little gentlemen&#8217;s room. After ejecting the attendant, Tessa and I had the space to ourselves. Tessa let go of my neck and slithered out the bottom of my jacket to stand on her own feet again.\u00a0Her eyebrows rose when she took in the room.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;This reminds me of <em>when I first let Nathaniel move in<\/em> and he brought his porcelain doll collection,&#8221; she said. &#8220;Their creepy eyes follow you everywhere.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>As she peed she went on talking about how creepy Contrarian bathroom design is, but I couldn&#8217;t follow her. At her mention of Nathaniel my mind broke. <em>Boom.<\/em> Just broke.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I thought you hated Nathaniel\u00a0and all his brothers,&#8221; I interrupted.\u00a0&#8220;Last I knew, <em>all five of them<\/em> were your mortal enemies.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The person on the toilet, who I was now convinced was not really Tessa after all, stopped talking. She blinked, dislodging one of her tinted contacts and allowing her natural eye color to show through. The eye told me everything I needed to know. It was <em>an extremely rare bluish black color almost unheard of in the US<\/em> and it could only belong to one person. The most dangerous person I&#8217;d ever met. Tessa&#8217;s sister.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Tallulah,&#8221; I breathed.<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in reverse order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>an extremely rare bluish black color almost unheard of in the US all five of them Boom. when I first let Nathaniel move in in a series of digital manipulations Tune in next time part 123\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Click Here for Earlier Installments As [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,342,350,403],"class_list":["post-4217","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-food","tag-sister","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4217","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4217"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4217\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4365,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4217\/revisions\/4365"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4217"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4217"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4217"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}