{"id":4191,"date":"2016-10-19T08:14:41","date_gmt":"2016-10-19T12:14:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=4191"},"modified":"2016-11-09T17:24:06","modified_gmt":"2016-11-09T22:24:06","slug":"i-waddled-out-of-the-store","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/i-waddled-out-of-the-store\/","title":{"rendered":"I Waddled Out of the Store"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-24\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/k-avatar-e1443983846496.png\" alt=\"by Kent\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>the blood came out like a balloon breaking<\/li>\n<li>Such a generous nose!<\/li>\n<li>dismissed the possibility of terrorist involvement<\/li>\n<li>\u201c&#8230; it\u2019s interesting.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>&#8212; during an election year, no less.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 120<\/strong><b>\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 <\/b><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/p>\n<p>I waddled out of the store, head swimming.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;What about my son?&#8221; I muttered. &#8220;What do you mean?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Not now,&#8221; Tessa scolded from under my borrowed tux.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Now&#8217;s the perfect time,&#8221;\u00a0I said. &#8220;If anyone notices me talking, they&#8217;ll just think I&#8217;m some fat, crazy man mumbling to himself. I&#8217;m not going to put up with &#8211;&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Tessa&#8217;s hand moved with invisible speed, striking me on the schozz. <em>The blood came out like a balloon breaking<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;<em>Such a generous nose!<\/em>&#8221; she cooed as I tried to contain the crimson spillage. A pair of Contrarian policemen watched the whole thing from across the street and then resumed their patrol, having evidently <em>dismissed the possibility of terrorist involvement<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;I&#8217;b nod kiddig,&#8221; I insisted. &#8220;Tell be what&#8217;s doe ibbordand.&#8221; I paused to clear my nasal passages. &#8220;What&#8217;s this about my son?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Well,&#8221; Tessa sighed. &#8220;He,&#8221; she started, then paused for a long time. <em>&#8220;&#8230; it&#8217;s interesting.&#8221;<\/em> She paused for a longer time. &#8220;It&#8217;s not what you&#8217;re thinking. But we&#8217;re lucky it&#8217;s happening when it is <em>&#8212; during an election year, no less.<\/em>&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>the blood came out like a balloon breaking Such a generous nose! dismissed the possibility of terrorist involvement \u201c&#8230; it\u2019s interesting.\u201d &#8212; during an election year, no less. Tune in next time part 120\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Click Here for Earlier Installments I waddled out [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[156,91,403],"class_list":["post-4191","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-blood","tag-bonus-points","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4191","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4191"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4191\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4368,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4191\/revisions\/4368"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4191"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4191"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4191"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}