{"id":3988,"date":"2016-08-24T08:10:39","date_gmt":"2016-08-24T12:10:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.skelleyverse.com\/?p=3988"},"modified":"2016-11-09T17:16:31","modified_gmt":"2016-11-09T22:16:31","slug":"uneasy-as-it-made-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/uneasy-as-it-made-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Uneasy As It Made Me"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-24\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/k-avatar-e1443983846496.png\" alt=\"by Kent\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>lifting me up like a garage door<\/li>\n<li>bringing oxygen to your brain<\/li>\n<li>various exhalations<\/li>\n<li>SMOKING CAUSES EARLY DEATH<\/li>\n<li>calling me \u201cpotentially homosexual\u201d<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 104<\/strong><b>\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 <\/b><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Uneasy as it made me, I had little trouble putting aside the claim of Contrarian prophecy. That was, after all, just a type of con. With enough weird shit predicted to happen, those books were bound to be right sometimes.<\/p>\n<p>The treasure, on the other hand, that I knew was serious. But, it wasn&#8217;t too late, obviously, a realization that brought a swell of optimism <em>lifting me up like a garage door<\/em>. Plus, John&#8217;s unbidden appearance aboard the nuptial dirigible had to mean that I was, by dumb luck, on the right track. I flashed on one of the zany prophecies, something about an &#8220;ally in suit of the hare,&#8221; which had to mean even the Contrarian mystics saw our paths converging.<\/p>\n<p>I followed these new ideas greedily, burning through them like a chain smoker, feeling the rush of the myriad inhalations <em>bringing oxygen to your brain<\/em>, and the <em>various exhalations<\/em> filling the room with blue-gray haze. The room spun, and I discovered\u00a0a hookah beside me, that I had in fact been smoking while I envisioned it. Like all Contrarian hookahs, it was filled with poppy blossoms and dubious mushrooms and bore the legend <em>SMOKING CAUSES EARLY DEATH<\/em> etched into the glass.<\/p>\n<p>Crawling, I sought fresh air outside the small room. My head began to clear but I couldn&#8217;t remember how the smoking apparatus arrived. Had Fleur called for it as a treat for me? Did her father insist I smoke it as a sort of bonding thing? Was John somehow involved?<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;No,&#8221; drawled a bored female voice. &#8220;None of them had anything to do with it. By the way, you&#8217;re asking all these questions out loud.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>I rolled onto my back and looked up at her. My prom date, set up for me by my mother. I hadn&#8217;t seen her since. Our post-prom goodbye consisted of her <em>calling me &#8220;potentially homosexual&#8221;<\/em> and slapping my cheek.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Hello, Myxolemia,&#8221; I said.<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>lifting me up like a garage door bringing oxygen to your brain various exhalations SMOKING CAUSES EARLY DEATH calling me \u201cpotentially homosexual\u201d Tune in next time part 104\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Click Here for Earlier Installments Uneasy as it made me, I had little trouble [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,403],"class_list":["post-3988","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3988","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3988"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3988\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4358,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3988\/revisions\/4358"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3988"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3988"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3988"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}