{"id":3938,"date":"2016-08-01T08:49:12","date_gmt":"2016-08-01T12:49:12","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.skelleyverse.com\/?p=3938"},"modified":"2016-11-09T17:08:33","modified_gmt":"2016-11-09T22:08:33","slug":"the-sewer-martyr-laughed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/the-sewer-martyr-laughed\/","title":{"rendered":"The Sewer Martyr Laughed"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar-e1443983489508.png\" alt=\"by jen\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>&#8220;Always, Daddy.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>entering its treacherous swamps<\/li>\n<li>I could tell by his eyes<\/li>\n<li>she didn&#8217;t give you a lot of horse manure<\/li>\n<li>and delude your visitors<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 98<\/strong><b>\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 <\/b><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/p>\n<p>The sewer martyr laughed at the expression on my face, and the spell was broken. This was not Ploot Funk, merely John dressed up in a very convincing costume.<\/p>\n<p>My warlord father-in-law strode up to the railing beside me and I gestured at John. &#8220;Is it Contrarian tradition to try <em>and delude your visitors<\/em> into thinking they are seeing ghosts?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Not ghosts,&#8221; the stern man said. &#8220;Holy visions. We need the populace to accept the new sewer taxes if we are to ever get the pumping station operational. Funkistan is a beautiful city, but she does not attract many tourists. We did a survey and learned that foreigners would like our fair metropolis better if<em> she didn&#8217;t give you a lot of horse manure<\/em> to the nostrils&#8221; He shook his head with amusement. &#8220;Of course it&#8217;s not horse manure that they are smelling, or at least not only horse manure, but we didn&#8217;t bother to correct them.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><em>I could tell by his eyes<\/em> that this was a man who was deeply concerned about the future of his realm, and I knew that I and my yet-to-be-born\u00a0children played a large role in that future. I felt like I was no longer in control of my destiny. I had my life mapped out before me, but now it felt like Fleur and her father had destroyed that map. I was navigating my future blind, and\u00a0now <em>entering its treacherous swamps<\/em>. Would I ever find my way back to the life I had planned for myself?<\/p>\n<p>Fleur appeared at my elbow, resplendent in her Contrarian royal garb. Her father looked at us and said, &#8220;You will do\u00a0your duty?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><em>&#8220;Always, Daddy.&#8221;<\/em> Fleur glared\u00a0at me until I nodded. &#8220;My husband and I are ready for the pregnancy test ceremony.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in reverse order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Always, Daddy.&#8221; entering its treacherous swamps I could tell by his eyes she didn&#8217;t give you a lot of horse manure and delude your visitors Tune in next time part 98\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Click Here for Earlier Installments The sewer martyr laughed at the [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,341,403],"class_list":["post-3938","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-clothes","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3938","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3938"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3938\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4345,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3938\/revisions\/4345"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3938"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3938"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3938"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}