{"id":3847,"date":"2016-06-22T08:26:55","date_gmt":"2016-06-22T12:26:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.skelleyverse.com\/?p=3847"},"modified":"2016-11-09T16:38:36","modified_gmt":"2016-11-09T21:38:36","slug":"fleurs-wicked-grin-told-me-she-hoped-i-didnt-eat-the-cicada","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/fleurs-wicked-grin-told-me-she-hoped-i-didnt-eat-the-cicada\/","title":{"rendered":"Fleur&#8217;s Wicked Grin Told Me She Hoped I Didn&#8217;t Eat the Cicada"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-24\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/k-avatar-e1443983846496.png\" alt=\"by Kent\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>uncomfortably on all fours yet unheeding his discomfort<\/li>\n<li>like an illusion of the vision<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Magnificent!\u201d I replied, with a good imitation of enthusiasm<\/li>\n<li>exhaustively trained monozygotic twins<\/li>\n<li>Like his lips were made of chocolate<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part\u00a087<\/strong><b>\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 <\/b><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Fleur&#8217;s wicked grin told me that she hoped I didn&#8217;t eat the cicada, that she relished picturing me as a vanquished foe <em>uncomfortably on all fours yet unheeding his discomfort<\/em> in his fervor to please her. I opened my mouth, resolved to get this ordeal over with in the least of unpleasant ways. My determination disappointed her. Ordinarily I don&#8217;t fantasize about harming other people, but the vexation creasing Fleur&#8217;s brow was <em>like an illusion of the vision<\/em> of how she&#8217;d react if I turned the tables. Stoic to the last, my wife.<\/p>\n<p>I chewed, willing away any and all awareness of the taste, texture, and especially the sound within my own mouth.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;How is it?&#8221; my father-in-law asked.<\/p>\n<p><em>&#8220;Magnificent!&#8221; I replied, with a good imitation of enthusiasm<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Fleur surprised me by providing a goblet of red wine to wash things down. I reminded myself that she wasn&#8217;t a monster. She only wanted to be a good daughter.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Next question,&#8221; her father said. &#8220;What is the proper manner to perform our tribal anthem?&#8221; He and Fleur exchanged nasty smiles.<\/p>\n<p>I smiled back. &#8220;On a barge, held in place against the current by a team of thirty-one albino goats, the melody produced by a single bagpipe played by <em>exhaustively trained monozygotic twins<\/em>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The warlord had been certain I couldn&#8217;t know this. He frowned deeply. <em>Like his lips were made of chocolate<\/em> and my satisfied grin was a blowtorch.<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>uncomfortably on all fours yet unheeding his discomfort like an illusion of the vision &#8220;Magnificent!\u201d I replied, with a good imitation of enthusiasm exhaustively trained monozygotic twins Like his lips were made of chocolate Tune in next time part\u00a087\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Click Here for [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[442,403],"class_list":["post-3847","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-blowtorch","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3847","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3847"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3847\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4336,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3847\/revisions\/4336"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3847"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3847"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3847"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}