{"id":3558,"date":"2016-02-17T08:15:56","date_gmt":"2016-02-17T13:15:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.skelleyverse.com\/?p=3558"},"modified":"2016-11-09T14:54:13","modified_gmt":"2016-11-09T19:54:13","slug":"not-the-ipswich-in-england","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/not-the-ipswich-in-england\/","title":{"rendered":"Not The Ipswich in England"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-24\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/k-avatar-e1443983846496.png\" alt=\"k-avatar\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>\u201cThe answer is easy,\u201d<\/li>\n<li>such a thing as sexually transmitted food poisoning<\/li>\n<li>\u201cSuch, gentlemen, is my secret.\u201d<\/li>\n<li>\u201cI demand satisfaction!\u201d<\/li>\n<li>then takes the form of a helicoidal or screw-shaped spiral<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune In Next Time Part 51<\/strong><b>\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 <\/b><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Not the Ipswich in England, though. The one in Massachusetts. Which was a good thing, because the dinky chopper would never have made a crossing and the directives of Dr Minka Stiletto were irresistible.<\/p>\n<p>And, as it turned out, there wasn&#8217;t enough fuel even for the local hop I had to make. Unlike a plane, when a helicopter runs out of gas it doesn&#8217;t glide smoothly forward. It lurches and drops rapidly in a steep parabolic arc, which <em>then takes the form of a helicoidal or screw-shaped spiral<\/em>. The controls do little to influence this trajectory, but with finesse a skillful pilot can bring the craft to ground at a survivably slow rate of descent. My skills and my luck were barely adequate to the challenge, or perhaps the haze of the trance I&#8217;d entered upon hearing the implanted\u00a0phrase kept me sufficiently relaxed to avoid injury.<\/p>\n<p>Wandering the outskirts of Ipswich, Mass, I searched for Minka Stiletto&#8217;s clinic. Asking passersby got me only glares and hasty retreats. <em>&#8220;I demand satisfaction!&#8221;<\/em> I roared at a leathery fisherman, whose gap-toothed yodel of fright woke me from Dr Stiletto&#8217;s clutches for the moment. My clarified thoughts coalesced upon the realization that the foul doctor was known throughout Ipswich, known and feared. But not yet in total control.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Bravo,&#8221; said a silky feminine voice behind me. My blood froze.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;But,&#8221; Dr Stiletto continued, &#8220;you misapprehend one thing. Yes, they fear me. But also yes, I do have total control. Now follow me. You too, Fred.&#8221; As the leathery fisherman fell into step beside me, and we both stumbled in Minka Stiletto&#8217;s rose-perfumed wake, she elaborated on her diabolical mastery of this quaint New England seaside town. <em>&#8220;Such, gentlemen, is my secret.&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>If she divulged any actual secret, I didn&#8217;t recall it.<\/p>\n<p>Minka Stiletto raised her eyepatch to study me more closely. The experience made me wonder if there was <em>such a thing as sexually transmitted food poisoning<\/em>. I tried to hide my revulsion, hoping the fiendish doctor thought me still hypnotized.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;You&#8217;ll note that Ipswich, Mass is the cleanest town you&#8217;ve ever visited,&#8221; she singsonged, &#8220;and you might wonder why. Mightn&#8217;t you?&#8221; Fred nodded avidly, seeming to have a lot invested in learning how this fact could be true of the place he had no doubt lived for many decades. <em>&#8220;The answer is easy,&#8221;<\/em> Minka said, laughing. &#8220;She who controls the sanitation guilds controls all!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Her amusement over this proclamation verged on incapacitating, but all the while she kept both eyes glued to me. This would not be my chance to escape. Perhaps if I played along I could learn something important. But would it be worth the risk?<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in reverse order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cThe answer is easy,\u201d such a thing as sexually transmitted food poisoning \u201cSuch, gentlemen, is my secret.\u201d \u201cI demand satisfaction!\u201d then takes the form of a helicoidal or screw-shaped spiral Tune In Next Time Part 51\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0 Click Here for Earlier Installments Not [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,417,425,403],"class_list":["post-3558","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-helicopter","tag-hypnosis","tag-tune-in-next-time"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3558","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3558"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3558\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4298,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3558\/revisions\/4298"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3558"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3558"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3558"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}