{"id":2994,"date":"2015-06-29T08:14:59","date_gmt":"2015-06-29T12:14:59","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.skelleyverse.com\/?p=2994"},"modified":"2015-06-28T20:09:34","modified_gmt":"2015-06-29T00:09:34","slug":"never-have-i","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/never-have-i\/","title":{"rendered":"Never Have I"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-13\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar.png\" alt=\"by jen\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>&#8212; of course kids tell scary stories about them<\/li>\n<li>I would have been prepared for the screams<\/li>\n<li>my knives a blur in my hands<\/li>\n<li>mistrusted my own senses more<\/li>\n<li>Listening.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Never have I <em>mistrusted my own senses more<\/em> than the time I was on Iron Chef and the secret ingredient that I had to build every course of my meal around was revealed to be grasshoppers. Ah grasshoppers<em> &#8212; of course kids tell scary stories about them<\/em>, but I love them. They&#8217;re best, in my opinion, saut\u00e9d in a little olive oil and tossed with sea salt. The fact that I love this food that is generally reviled had me doubting myself strongly.<\/p>\n<p>When the pedestal displaying the secret ingredient finished its rise from below the floor, and the fog cleared, I ran to collect my share of the lovely green bugs. To my surprise they were still alive. I hadn&#8217;t expected that. I felt a little guilty discussing my recipe plan with my sous chefs because it felt like the grasshoppers were watching us. Observing. <em>Listening.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>If I&#8217;d had time to think <em>I would have been prepared for the screams<\/em> of all the tiny bugs when I threw them in the blender with a chopped avocado and hit pur\u00e9e. The sound quickly died, along with the grasshoppers, and I left the blender whirling away as I moved on to my next dish. I wanted to show off a little, so I dumped a handful of the lively bugs onto my cutting board and went after them, <em>my knives a blur in my hands<\/em> until every last specimen was bisected and tossed into the wok along with a hefty portion of ginger root.<\/p>\n<p>In addition to my grasshopper smoothie appetizer, and grasshopper ginger stir fry, I concocted a delicious grasshopper tempura, and made caramel popcorn with pecans and grasshoppers for a whimsical desert.<\/p>\n<p>Suck it, Iron Chef Morimoto! My cuisine reined supreme!<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for not going in the expected direction?<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8212; of course kids tell scary stories about them I would have been prepared for the screams my knives a blur in my hands mistrusted my own senses more Listening. Never have I mistrusted my own senses more than the time I was on Iron Chef and the secret ingredient that I had to build [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[91,342],"class_list":["post-2994","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-bonus-points","tag-food"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2994","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2994"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2994\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3018,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2994\/revisions\/3018"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2994"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2994"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2994"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}