{"id":2915,"date":"2015-05-27T08:04:56","date_gmt":"2015-05-27T12:04:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.skelleyverse.com\/?p=2915"},"modified":"2015-05-19T22:10:49","modified_gmt":"2015-05-20T02:10:49","slug":"i-know-its-a-taboo-subject","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/i-know-its-a-taboo-subject\/","title":{"rendered":"I Know It&#8217;s a Taboo Subject"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright wp-image-24\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/k-avatar.png\" alt=\"k-avatar\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>like the tears of a manatee<\/li>\n<li>chews on bed sheets<\/li>\n<li>Considering the circumstances?<\/li>\n<li>his penis hung from the bush<\/li>\n<li>into a dazzling brilliancy<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>I know it&#8217;s a taboo subject, but I&#8217;m afraid I must insist we discuss it. Would it be easier if I substituted a code word for the offensive term? Very well. Rather than actually saying that word which\u00a0so distresses you, I shall say &#8220;penis.&#8221; Agreed? Excellent.<\/p>\n<p>First off you have to bear in mind that Hinshaw was there. Yes, that changes everything. I mean the man <em>chews on bed sheets<\/em>, and we&#8217;re talking fraternity bedding. No class. Anyway, for all his faults the man&#8217;s a marvelous mixologist. On the night in question he took Winston&#8217;s &#8212; er, Winston&#8217;s penis &#8212; took it behind the bar with him. Winston didn&#8217;t know, poor thing, and spent half the evening searching for it. But Hinshaw used the penis to invent a new cocktail, and it was <em>like the tears of a manatee<\/em> muddled <em>into a dazzling brilliancy<\/em> with ginger and a hint of cloves. Winston got so sloppy on them, it&#8217;s no wonder he lost track of where his penis got to.<\/p>\n<p>Me? Did I have any of this devilish concoction? <em>Considering the circumstances?<\/em> What do you take me for? It was delicious. I think Winston deserves at least half the credit, though.<\/p>\n<p>Which brings me to the crux of the matter. Hinshaw, that madman, doesn&#8217;t know how to take proper care of himself and his own things, so you can imagine his cavalier treatment of Winston&#8217;s&#8230; So as the sun came up, Winston and I split up and it was me who found it. <em>His penis hung from the bush<\/em> next to the driveway. Well I&#8217;m afraid I panicked and hid it in my pocket. I lied to poor Winston and so as far as he knows the thing&#8217;s still missing. I have it with me. It doesn&#8217;t feel right to just leave it lying about, you know?<\/p>\n<p>I really do need some advice.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>like the tears of a manatee chews on bed sheets Considering the circumstances? his penis hung from the bush into a dazzling brilliancy I know it&#8217;s a taboo subject, but I&#8217;m afraid I must insist we discuss it. Would it be easier if I substituted a code word for the offensive term? Very well. Rather [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[46],"class_list":["post-2915","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-writing-prompts","tag-genitals"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2915","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2915"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2915\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2943,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2915\/revisions\/2943"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2915"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2915"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2915"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}