{"id":201,"date":"2012-07-16T08:11:37","date_gmt":"2012-07-16T12:11:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.skelleyverse.com\/?p=201"},"modified":"2014-01-04T20:56:11","modified_gmt":"2014-01-05T01:56:11","slug":"happy-birthday-he-said","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/happy-birthday-he-said\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;Happy Birthday,&#8221; He Said"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright  wp-image-13\" title=\"j-avatar\" alt=\"by jen\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar.png\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>shrinking like a balloon<\/li>\n<li>50 bucks worth of shit<\/li>\n<li>picture of the burly child<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Happy birthday,&#8221; he said<\/li>\n<li>passed a cohabitation law<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><em>&#8220;Happy birthday,&#8221; he said<\/em> and handed Loretta <em>50 bucks worth of shit<\/em> she didn&#8217;t need, as well as a <em>picture of the burly child<\/em> he had once been, back before the state <em>passed a cohabitation law<\/em> that compelled her to leave him behind with his father and take up residence with an old, half-senile party official whose phallus had the habit of <em>shrinking like a balloon<\/em> stuck by a pin whenever they were in bed together.<\/p>\n<p>One sentence = Bonus Points!<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>shrinking like a balloon 50 bucks worth of shit picture of the burly child &#8220;Happy birthday,&#8221; he said passed a cohabitation law &#8220;Happy birthday,&#8221; he said and handed Loretta 50 bucks worth of shit she didn&#8217;t need, as well as a picture of the burly child he had once been, back before the state passed [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[51,91,46,331,155,182],"class_list":["post-201","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-birthday","tag-bonus-points","tag-genitals","tag-parent","tag-politician","tag-sex"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/201","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=201"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/201\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2079,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/201\/revisions\/2079"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=201"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=201"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=201"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}