{"id":1678,"date":"2014-03-26T08:07:17","date_gmt":"2014-03-26T12:07:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.skelleyverse.com\/?p=1678"},"modified":"2014-01-04T20:30:06","modified_gmt":"2014-01-05T01:30:06","slug":"stewart-left-his-crowbar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stewart-left-his-crowbar\/","title":{"rendered":"Stewart Left His Crowbar"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright  wp-image-24\" alt=\"k-avatar\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/k-avatar.png\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>left his crowbar<\/li>\n<li>it is a machine<\/li>\n<li>fish taco<\/li>\n<li>tragic, funny, sexy, hilarious<\/li>\n<li>hair in his fast<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Stewart <em>left his crowbar<\/em> tangled in Myrtle&#8217;s <em>hair in his fast<\/em> getaway from the scene. He hoped she wouldn&#8217;t follow him again, that this was the last time he&#8217;d have to kill her.<\/p>\n<p>He ran into the nearest bar, desperate to warn the occupants. &#8220;In a few minutes, a crazy lady will come in here. But it is not a lady. <em>It is a machine<\/em>. A <em>tragic, funny, sexy, hilarious<\/em> machine.&#8221; Other than a few chuckles, he got no reaction from the career drinkers. Stewart slunk to a deserted, shadowy corner to think.<\/p>\n<p>Sure enough, Myrtle entered moments later, still trailing the crowbar.<\/p>\n<p>Oh god, Stewart moaned, open mic night.<\/p>\n<p>Myrtle mounted the stage, the heavy steel rod clanking with each step. She leaned up to the microphone and sighed, &#8220;What has two eyes, a tail, no legs, and hot sauce?&#8221; Stewart gulped. The spell was cast.<\/p>\n<p>In one voice the rest of the patrons said, &#8220;A <em>fish taco<\/em>.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>left his crowbar it is a machine fish taco tragic, funny, sexy, hilarious hair in his fast Stewart left his crowbar tangled in Myrtle&#8217;s hair in his fast getaway from the scene. He hoped she wouldn&#8217;t follow him again, that this was the last time he&#8217;d have to kill her. He ran into the nearest [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319],"tags":[332,342,353,305,271],"class_list":["post-1678","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","tag-crime","tag-food","tag-open-mic-night","tag-robot","tag-scifi"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1678","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1678"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1678\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1955,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1678\/revisions\/1955"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1678"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1678"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1678"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}