{"id":1441,"date":"2013-10-09T08:08:25","date_gmt":"2013-10-09T12:08:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.skelleyverse.com\/?p=1441"},"modified":"2014-01-04T20:40:21","modified_gmt":"2014-01-05T01:40:21","slug":"ill-never-forget-my-day-in-court","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/ill-never-forget-my-day-in-court\/","title":{"rendered":"I&#8217;ll Never Forget My Day in Court"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><span style=\"line-height: 16px;\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright  wp-image-24\" alt=\"k-avatar\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/k-avatar.png\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>my leg mashed into the sheep dog<\/span><\/li>\n<li>pat her everywhere, including under her stomach<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;You&#8217;ll be playing an elderly butler.&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>get yourself another lawyer<\/li>\n<li>remarkable reproduction of a Ubangi blowgun<\/li>\n<li>equally terrible but for an entirely different reason<\/li>\n<li>using Marian&#8217;s breast as a springboard<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\"><span style=\"line-height: 24px;\">I&#8217;ll never forget my day in court, one of the most unpleasant in my life. It all started when <em>my leg mashed into the sheep dog<\/em> after <em>using Marian&#8217;s breast as a springboard<\/em>, and the EMT told me to <em>pat her everywhere, including under her stomach<\/em>, and I thought he meant Marian, whom I&#8217;d just met and didn&#8217;t really get along with, and when I explained all this from the witness stand my attorney said, &#8220;<em>Get yourself another lawyer<\/em>.&#8221;<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><em>Equally terrible but for an entirely different reason<\/em> was my first theatre audition, at age nine. The director said, <em>&#8220;You&#8217;ll be playing an elderly butler,&#8221;<\/em> and handed another actor a <em>remarkable reproduction of a Ubangi blowgun<\/em>. Then he said something vague about the butler not doing it this time, and next thing I knew there was a sharp sting in my buttock and the room went all spinny.<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>my leg mashed into the sheep dog pat her everywhere, including under her stomach &#8220;You&#8217;ll be playing an elderly butler.&#8221; get yourself another lawyer remarkable reproduction of a Ubangi blowgun equally terrible but for an entirely different reason using Marian&#8217;s breast as a springboard I&#8217;ll never forget my day in court, one of the most [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[255,335,310,111,248],"class_list":["post-1441","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-actor","tag-animal","tag-blowgun","tag-dog","tag-lawyer"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1441","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1441"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1441\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2007,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1441\/revisions\/2007"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1441"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1441"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1441"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}