{"id":1351,"date":"2013-08-21T08:10:43","date_gmt":"2013-08-21T12:10:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.skelleyverse.com\/?p=1351"},"modified":"2014-01-04T20:43:48","modified_gmt":"2014-01-05T01:43:48","slug":"my-husbands-name-is-paris","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/my-husbands-name-is-paris\/","title":{"rendered":"My Husband&#8217;s Name is Paris"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright  wp-image-24\" alt=\"k-avatar\" src=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/k-avatar.png\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>a strange man opened that door<\/li>\n<li>the worst a beautiful woman could do<\/li>\n<li>strip poker with a man-eating tiger<\/li>\n<li>my husband&#8217;s name is Paris<\/li>\n<li>reporting a raccoon<\/li>\n<li>&#8220;Cold potato soup!&#8221;<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: medium;\"><span style=\"line-height: 24px;\"><em>My husband&#8217;s name is Paris<\/em>, which isn&#8217;t <em>the worst a beautiful woman could do<\/em>. I once dated a fellow named Albuquerque, and even that&#8217;s not as bad as <em>strip poker with a man-eating tiger<\/em>.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p>But this has nothing to do with Paris, or Albuquerque.<\/p>\n<p>My apartment has a door I never use. Once <em>a strange man opened that door<\/em> and leaned into my apartment, <em>reporting a raccoon<\/em> was raiding the dumpster. So now I never use that door.<\/p>\n<p>And yesterday, a little child trapped in my sock drawer kept yelling the same thing all day. <em>&#8220;Cold potato soup!&#8221;<\/em><\/p>\n<p>I think I should move.<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>a strange man opened that door the worst a beautiful woman could do strip poker with a man-eating tiger my husband&#8217;s name is Paris reporting a raccoon &#8220;Cold potato soup!&#8221; My husband&#8217;s name is Paris, which isn&#8217;t the worst a beautiful woman could do. I once dated a fellow named Albuquerque, and even that&#8217;s not [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[335,349,71],"class_list":["post-1351","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-animal","tag-gonzo","tag-spouse"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1351","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1351"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1351\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2021,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1351\/revisions\/2021"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1351"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1351"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1351"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}