{"id":10015,"date":"2024-04-01T08:24:08","date_gmt":"2024-04-01T12:24:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/?p=10015"},"modified":"2024-03-31T14:13:37","modified_gmt":"2024-03-31T18:13:37","slug":"why-is-the-bartender-wearing-a-smurf-mask","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/why-is-the-bartender-wearing-a-smurf-mask\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8220;Why is the Bartender Wearing a Smurf Mask?&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-13\" src=\"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/06\/j-avatar-e1443983489508.png\" alt=\"by jen\" width=\"81\" height=\"81\" \/>flair for the outrageous<\/li>\n<li>routine handling at the post office<\/li>\n<li>Now you know.<\/li>\n<li>a maze of twisty little urine puddles<\/li>\n<li>diamond-scented bubbles<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Tune in next time part 889 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/tune-in-next-time\/\">Click Here for Earlier Installments<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Why is the bartender wearing a smurf mask?&#8221; I asked.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;One must have a <em>flair for the outrageous<\/em> to work in my speakeasy,&#8221; Fleur explained, as if to a child. &#8220;Nothing about this enterprise is normal. It&#8217;s clandestine! Procuring quality eggnog is not as easy as assuring your letter gets <em>routine handling at the post office<\/em> by simply affixing a rodent pelt to the corner. It requires finesse and connections and a penchant for the dramatic.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Rodent pelts? I guess that explains why my letters never get delivered.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;<em>Now you know.<\/em>&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>As Fleur filled a mug for herself from the nozzle, I noticed something else about the smurf-masked man on the floor. &#8220;I think there&#8217;s something wrong with him,&#8221; I said. &#8220;See all the pee?&#8221; The man was in the middle of <em>a maze of twisty little urine puddles<\/em>, all frozen to the icy floor. All the eggnog I&#8217;d ingested had filled my brain with <em>diamond-scented bubbles<\/em>, and I was pretty sure I was still officially stupid. Perhaps this was all normal? Or&#8230; &#8220;You don&#8217;t think he&#8217;s dead, do you?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>bonus points for using them in order<\/p>\n<p><a title=\"Stichomancy Writing Prompts\" href=\"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompts\/\">about stichomancy writing prompts<\/a><\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/stichomancy-writing-prompt-generator\/\">try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>flair for the outrageous routine handling at the post office Now you know. a maze of twisty little urine puddles diamond-scented bubbles Tune in next time part 889 \u00a0 \u00a0 \u00a0Click Here for Earlier Installments &#8220;Why is the bartender wearing a smurf mask?&#8221; I asked. &#8220;One must have a flair for the outrageous to work [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[319,4],"tags":[330,91,403,486],"class_list":["post-10015","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stichomancy-prompts","category-writing-prompts","tag-alcohol","tag-bonus-points","tag-tune-in-next-time","tag-zeppelin"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10015","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10015"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10015\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10025,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10015\/revisions\/10025"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10015"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10015"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/runeskelley.com\/skelleyverse\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10015"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}