Tagged: poison

Before My Mind Melted Completely

  • by jenbetween the invisible man and the tramp
  • in response to the touching of tiny buttons
  • as if they were his own
  • I don’t know whether Stephanie
  • started pointing fingers

Tune in next time part 245                           Click Here for Earlier Installments

Before my mind melted completely I managed one coherent thought: those ninjas must have been covered in some sort of contact hallucinogen. I’d foolishly fallen right into their trap. The walls around me rippled like water.

When I came back to my senses I was bound hand and foot, and a good deal of drool was leaking from my mouth onto the floor where I lay. I seemed to be in the back of a van. There were two people in the seats up front. I kept my eyes closed and listened to their conversation.

“We’ll be lucky to get the full bounty on this asshole,” the driver said. He had a gravelly voice and a Contrarian accent. “And our expenses are through the roof. I mean, between the invisible man and the trampoline he bounced in on, we’ll be lucky to break even. That guy doesn’t come cheap.”

Who were these guys? I cracked my eyelids open and watched the portly guy in the passenger seat lean forward to fiddle with the radio. In response to the touching of tiny buttons, the vehicle filled with Contrarian hip hop. Portly guy knew his way around the sound system controls as if they were his own, suggesting that this van was not a rental.

Portly cranked the volume, and we drove on for hours. The music and the accents suggested my captors were working for Fleur. Or maybe her warlord father. I wasn’t sure which idea scared me more.

Much to my surprise, though, when the van stopped and the doors opened, I found myself face-to-face with Viscount Arlo. He looked at me with his one eye, and sniffed. “I don’t know whether Stephanie forgot to mention,” he said in his precise Svenborgian cadences, “or whether you’re utterly incompetent, but I wanted both him and Jason.”

The driver and Portly immediately started pointing fingers at each other, making excuses for their failure.

Arlo turned to me and sniffed again. He ran one hand back over his bald head. “I’ve been enjoying your wife’s company ever so much,” he said. “She’s currently my favorite lover. Would you like to see some pictures?”

That guy is such a dick.

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At That Moment

  • by jendo not leave a trace
  • the best-looking guy in the room
  • the adults took turns
  • “That was a game, wasn’t it?”
  • I know you’re part Indian!

Tune In Next Time Part 8                              Click Here for Earlier Installments

At that moment Tessa’s eyes rolled back and she slumped to the floor, the giraffe-hide briefcase slipping from her grip. She should have remembered that I’m quite partial to contact-tranquilizers (especially the kinds that do not leave a trace on a tox screen), and always smeared them liberally on the handles of all of my briefcases.

I pulled a pair of soggy gloves from my pocket and wrung the seawater out of them. I may not be the best-looking guy in the room, but I’m usually the cleverest. When I was young and the only child in the cult, the adults took turns teaching me the many skills they used to evade the authorities. No matter how challenging the lesson I always laughed and said, “That was a game, wasn’t it?” That attitude got me far in life.

But enough about me.

John still stood just inside the doorway, eyeing Tessa on the floor. Or, more likely, eyeing the briefcase.

“I can’t let you have it,” he said without looking at me. “I know you’re part Indian! I know you’ll sell it to your cohorts back in Mumbai!”

I chuckled at his total misapprehension of my motives, and that’s when he pounced.

 

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“I Don’t Care That You’re Married, Genevieve”

  1. by jenCharacter – cheating wife
  2. Setting – witch’s cottage
  3. Object – sequined handbag
  4. Situation – I smell smoke

“I don’t care that you’re married, Genevieve,” cried Wilhelm. “So am I, and I won’t let it keep us apart.”

The beautiful raven-haired woman behind the cauldron nodded and held out her hand, and Wilhelm handed over her gift. As she opened it, Wilhelm admired the pale green undertones in her silky complexion and the way the firelight danced in her deep black eyes. Those lovely dark orbs sparkled with delight when she saw the sequined handbag under all the layers of tissue paper. Or was it the smoke that made them glisten?

“Thank you darling, it’s lovely,” Genevieve purred. She pulled a ladle from the voluminous folds of her long black gown and scooped up some of the liquid from her bubbling vat. The fumes made Wilhelm’s head spin. Genevieve carefully poured the effervescent concoction into a vial and handed it to Wilhelm.

“Have your wife drink this and our troubles will be over.”

“What about your husband?”

Genevieve smiled lazily. “Let me worry about him.”

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“There You Are”

  1. Character – tooth fairy
  2. Setting – gazebo
  3. Object – bagpipes
  4. Situation – suicidal tendencies

“There you are. Why’d you run off?”

“I can’t go on. You don’t understand.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I have a bottle of nightshade. Go away.”

“You can’t mean to –”

“Go! You sellout! What do you know?”

Lucky bit back his reply. The cereal contract made some of the traditionalists, like Toothy, look down on him. Sharp words would only worsen this situation.

“Maybe you just need a vacation. A couple of us could stand in for you for a bit.”

“Just go away. Leave my dignity.” The Tooth Fairy stood dramatically in the gazebo. But Lucky knew she was serious.

While they’d argued, a dozed kilted men had lined up in the park and were now filling their bagpipes.

Toothy eyed her bottle. “No more teeth.”

The pipers began Amazing Grace.

Great, thought Lucky, that’ll help.

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