Tagged: melons

We Only Made It a Few Hundred Yards Down the Boardwalk

  • by jenwidely presumed to be sexting constantly
  • “See ya later.”
  • like a tantalizing love machine
  • it helps to have a mirror in the room
  • a “mechanical control abnormality”

Tune in next time part 80                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

We only made it a few hundred yards down the boardwalk before a light on the dashboard started blinking, signaling a “mechanical control abnormality” and smoke poured out of both the engine compartment and the taffy bin.

“Scheiße!” cried Ulrike, frantically squeezing the brake lever.

But we did not slow. Our rocket sled hurtled out of control, klaxons blaring, like some post-apocalyptic ice cream truck. I reached around Ulrike’s unrestrained bosom and hit the button for the ejector seat. We shot upward, clinging to each other and dangling from our single parachute. Below us our taffy sled rocketed through the railing at the end of the pier and hurtled into the sea.

The massive cloud of steam generated by jet engine meeting salt water hid us from view as we made a clumsy landing on the beach. Ulrike grabbed my wrist again and dragged me into the nearby funhouse before the fog cleared.

“When hiding from one’s enemy it helps to have a mirror in the room,” she said, and shoved me into the hall of mirrors. We were suddenly surrounded by dozens of versions of ourselves, some perfect copies, others stretched and warped in hideous ways.

Ulrike gazed around at all the mirrors and breathed hotly in my ear. “I had forgotten how much like a tantalizing love machine you are.” Or at least she tried to. She actually breathed in the ear of one of my reflections, fogging up the glass.

I laughed and said, “See ya later.”

Luckily I had this particular labyrinth memorized. I closed my eyes and ran through, leaving Ulrike cursing and stumbling behind me.

Upon exiting I pushed my way through a group of teenagers. All teens are widely presumed to be sexting constantly, and these did nothing to dispel that stereotype. With any luck their overabundance of hormones would confuse Ulrike’s sensitive nose when she finally blundered through the maze, and allow me to make good my escape.

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They All Shared Her Grace of Posture

  • k-avatarfor verily, her breasts were like melons
  • the sitter responded with a slack-jawed grin
  • complimented Ian on his quick head
  • inwardly he didn’t feel too sympathetic
  • they all shared her grace of posture

They all shared her grace of posture, oddly, for verily her breasts were like melons. Her ass was like additional melons, a fact perhaps holding the key to the mystery of her poise.

Balance. Balance in all things, not just melons. The young twins lacked melons altogether, having yet to attain lemons, but they were balanced. When their parents went out, the twins looked forward to their sitter’s company.

“Stephanie!” enthused both youngsters. The sitter responded with a slack-jawed grin. (But a well-balanced one.)

Lurking in the bushes, two snipers shared candy. Discovering that the bag held an odd number of M&Ms, the left-most assassin placed the last chocolate morsel under a bush, for the squirrels. Keith complimented Ian on his quick head. Ian expressed poetical regret that they must make orphans of these children, but inwardly he didn’t feel too sympathetic.

 

 

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