Tagged: lawyer

They Have No Lawyers

  • k-avatarthey have no lawyers
  • No wonder she attracts me
  • to see up close how he builds
  • nocturnal emissions
  • examining the dead sailors

They have no lawyers in this country. Instead, disputes are settled with feats of strength, and with games of chance.

They have no lawyers, but they have judges. Someone must decree the victor, proclaim which is the stronger or luckier man.

Grizelda is a judge. They are all women, the judges in this country, but Grizelda is the only one I know of who is also a prostitute. No wonder she attracts me.

When presiding, she always spends one night with each man. This allows her to see up close how he builds his rationale, and gives her the opportunity to read the truth in his nocturnal emissions.

Examining the dead sailors bobbing next to my lifeboat, I hope Grizelda will take my case.

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Jason Crossed the Restaurant

  • by jencash prize of $100,000
  • Is that your usual walk?
  • if any part of your body is frozen
  • A little rubbing of the limbs
  • Jason, what happened?
  • asking for a dragon of her own
  • traveling at a furious rate

Jason crossed the restaurant, traveling at a furious rate. He was shivering.

“Jason, what happened?” asked Holly. “Is that your usual walk?”

“Georgia locked me in the walk-in freezer!” Jason exclaimed.

Holly rolled her eyes and waved her hand dismissively. “A little rubbing of the limbs is all you need if any part of your body is frozen.” She eyed his zipper. “Is any, er, part of your body frozen, Jason?”

“You don’t understand!” Jason snapped. “Georgia knows about us. Now, thanks to that damn prenup she’s going to get a cash prize of $100,000!”

“Your dragon of a lawyer will take care of everything,” Holly assured.

“Georgia’s already asking for a dragon of her own,” Jason sighed. “I’m screwed.”

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I’ll Never Forget My Day in Court

  • k-avatarmy leg mashed into the sheep dog
  • pat her everywhere, including under her stomach
  • “You’ll be playing an elderly butler.”
  • get yourself another lawyer
  • remarkable reproduction of a Ubangi blowgun
  • equally terrible but for an entirely different reason
  • using Marian’s breast as a springboard

I’ll never forget my day in court, one of the most unpleasant in my life. It all started when my leg mashed into the sheep dog after using Marian’s breast as a springboard, and the EMT told me to pat her everywhere, including under her stomach, and I thought he meant Marian, whom I’d just met and didn’t really get along with, and when I explained all this from the witness stand my attorney said, “Get yourself another lawyer.”

Equally terrible but for an entirely different reason was my first theatre audition, at age nine. The director said, “You’ll be playing an elderly butler,” and handed another actor a remarkable reproduction of a Ubangi blowgun. Then he said something vague about the butler not doing it this time, and next thing I knew there was a sharp sting in my buttock and the room went all spinny.

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