Tagged: kiss

I Almost Sprained My Tongue

  • by jenI’m not who you think I am
  • English and Swiss boarding schools
  • it wasn’t coming just straight down
  • step out of the queue
  • A rather unexpected smile

Tune in next time part 173                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

I almost sprained my tongue, but in the end I managed to deliver the message. “I’m not who you think I am. I’m his twin brother.”

The woman’s own tongue action was very crisp and meticulous, suggesting she’d been educated in the best English and Swiss boarding schools before attending the Academy.

Our passing of information to each other through vigorous tongue movements must have looked a lot like a passionate kiss. Valentine Village’s many cherub-costumed employees went out of their way to celebrate and encourage such signs of love. When they spotted us they fired their confetti cannons. We were suddenly engulfed in tiny bits of colorful paper, and it wasn’t coming just straight down, but swirling madly on gusts of wind. I decided to take advantage of the unexpected camouflage and “step out of the queue,” as it were, to escape from my donut-loving captor and find Tessa on my own.

I pulled away from the green-haired woman mid-sentence. A rather unexpected smile rested on her lips. It was a very nasty smile, even though it was soon speckled with confetti.

And suddenly my mind put the pieces together. The wild hair, the posh education, the quick thinking with the raffle ticket. This woman could only be the rogue mime Setsuko, and that meant I was in deep shit.

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Despite Jason’s Protestations

  • by jenunder the influence of a magnetic force
  • spasmodic efforts to smile
  • all alone — at night
  • the jury convicted Kelly
  • We passed upon the stairs

Tune In Next Time Part 42                             Click Here for Earlier Installments

Despite Jason’s protestations, Lyudmila and I were under the influence of a magnetic force that drew our lips together again and again. Some might call it love, but I knew better. We made out in the entryway of the little church while my brother glared at us and made spasmodic efforts to smile, trying to look like he didn’t really mind, but he and I are twins and I could tell just what he was thinking. He was plotting to get me away from Lyudmila, and everyone else. He wanted me all alone — at night preferably, when the darkness would cloak him more effectively than his ostentatious stage garb ever could, and in that darkness he would make me pay for what had happened with Tessa, and what was happening now with Lyudmila, and most of all for everything that befell Kelly, the love of his life. It wasn’t my fault the jury convicted Kelly and not me, but Jason would never listen to me about that. We passed upon the stairs in the courthouse after my testimony, and that’s the last I saw him before today.

When finally I had reviewed all of the details of that sordid event, and when I was done kissing Lyudmila, I turned to him and said, “Jason.”

His lips twitched into a twisted grin. “Who are you calling Jason, Jason?”

Lyudmila gasped and took a step away from me. Her eyes flitted between me and my duplicitous twin, not knowing which of us was really Jason and which of us was really me.

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I Stand in the Rain

  • by jencan’t you hear the thunder?
  • “You shut up!”
  • one gold, one black
  • brown skin and a flat skull
  • Leonard is a strange person

I stand in the rain, gazing at the man beside me. Leonard is a strange person, but undeniably attractive. His eyes entrance me, one gold, one black, nestled in brown skin and a flat skull like faberge eggs in an ornate display case.

I try to tell him I love him, but he leans in close. “Can’t you hear the thunder?” he whispers in my ear, making me shiver. “That rumbling is Zeus’s way of saying ‘You shut up!’ to us mortals.”

I try once more to speak. Leonard’s ornately colored eyes hold mine and he lays his finger across my lips. “Shhh,” he breathes, “you don’t want to anger Zeus.”

And he’s right. I don’t. I lean in and press my lips to his just as a bright bolt of lightning illuminates the sky.

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As I Lay Here With You

  • dark thorn stuck in the skin
  • and there he lay for eighteen months
  • It was fascinating.
  • “I mean, obviously.”
  • as I lay here with you

Kent’s Take

k-avatarAs I lay here with you, I think of him. Not just his physical aspect, warmth and solidness, but his humor and his regrets. So I wonder about your regrets. We began as colleagues, and bonded over the riddle of the dark thorn stuck in the skin of a quarantined banana. It was fascinating. We ruled out every known kind of plant that produces thorns, so in the end we failed to determine whether this one might be dangerous, or deduce anything useful about where those bananas had been. But researching it side-by-side for a year and a half was how you and I fused into a single entity. He knew it was happening. He collapsed on the sofa the first night, sobbing, and there he lay for eighteen months. One day he was gone. I hear that now he only eats bananas.”

“I mean, obviously.”

 

Jen’s Take

by jenAs I lay here with you, I am reminded of a weird, feminist retelling of Sleeping Beauty, where it was the prince who pricked his finger and fell asleep. Instead of a misadventure with a spinning wheel, the prince encountered an enchanted rose bush belonging to a witch. He made a ham-fisted attempt at plucking a bloom for his girlfriend and got jabbed. The dark thorn stuck in the skin of his index finger and he fell over, unconscious, on the garden path, and there he lay for eighteen months until he was awakened by a kiss from the valiant female gardener. It was fascinating.

“I mean, obviously.” Jacinda smiled. “That’s why you never shut up about it.”

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The Kremlin Cupolas Shone

  • k-avatarslapped the monk’s face
  • stop shooting, you fools!
  • most novices ate it with relish
  • work intelligently, rather than spectacularly
  • the Kremlin cupolas shone against a pale summer sky
  • “Go ahead, kiss her.”

The Kremlin cupolas shone against a pale summer sky, and bells rang out the lunchtime hour. Since its conversion into a  monastery, the former fortress boasted far fewer tanks, and marginally better food.

Brother Ivan wished the cooks would strive to work intelligently, rather than spectacularly. Years of eating the ornate fare left him bored by all the gold leaf and sugar sculptures, although most novices ate it with relish.

The walls shook, signaling that some of those novices were skipping lunch to play in a tank, and had found some ammunition. “Stop shooting, you fools!” screamed the abbot as he charged outside.

After the meal, Ivan strolled in Red Square with Brother Boris. They came upon a pretty young lady with a sign reading, “Smoochies, $1.”

“Go ahead, kiss her,” Ivan suggested. The woman slapped the monk’s face. “Pay first,” she insisted.

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He’s the Kind of Guy Who Keeps a List of Judicial Candidates

  • by jenhas her gargle with salt water
  • a jar of warm sputum
  • judicial candidates with humorous names
  • and then he’d wave
  • the Swiss bank account of a total stranger

He’s the kind of guy who keeps a list of judicial candidates with humorous names to choose his aliases from. The kind of guy who takes his date to an orgy, but then has her gargle with salt water before he’ll kiss her afterwards. He probably collects it so that he has a jar of warm sputum to remember her by. And then he’d wave and send her off into the night on her own so that he could sit at his computer and try to hack his way into the Swiss bank account of a total stranger. In other words, he’s just like all the rest. OKCupid sucks.

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2013 Holiday Prompt

In this special holiday edition, the stichomancy prompt phrases were all taken from Christmas carols. Jen and Kent both tackled the same set, with markedly different results. Whose do you prefer?

  • so lively and quick
  • dashing through the snow
  • he began to dance around
  • tis the season to be jolly
  • nine ladies dancing
  • when we finally kiss goodnight

k-avatarKent’s take:

“I forgot these things were so lively and quick,” Herb remarked, drawing a bead on one of the creatures dashing through the snow in the clearing.

“And I forgot they bite! Ow!” exclaimed Remmy as he began to dance around holding one boot up out of the deep drifts, a creature dangling from the toe.

Herb chuckled, prompting Remmy to ask him with some vehemence just what was so damn funny.

“Oh, nothing. Just, tis the season to be jolly, I suppose,” drawled Herb in reply.

Remmy shook the xenopod loose and stomped it, muttering about better times before the invasion. “I’ve had enough for one day. Let’s go get drunk at the Nine Ladies Dancing. I’ll buy.”

“Okay,” Herb said. “I’d like to see that sweet little barmaid again anyway.” Herb’s opinions on the invasion were slightly more mixed. “When we finally kiss goodnight, I’ll find out what those suckers on her tongue feel like.”

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by jenJen’s take:

My blind date with Bertram started out well enough. I found him to be so lively and quick-witted that I was able to overlook his unfortunate ears. I thought him quite galant when he offered to pay for dinner, but halfway through the meal he began to dance around in his seat like he had to pee. Then he grumbled at our waiter, “It’s winter, dude! Tis the season to be jolly well sozzled so you don’t notice the cold! Bring me a yard of Schnapps! And one for the lady.”

He finished his shots in record time, and most of mine, all the while telling the tale of a bachelor party he’d recently attended where there were no fewer than nine ladies dancing naked. I was unimpressed.

Bertram’s fate was sealed when he said to me, “Hey babe, when we finally kiss goodnight, I’m going to slip you the tongue.”

Horrified, I left him at the table and went dashing through the snow and wind all the way to the subway station so he couldn’t follow me home.

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When Samantha Saw the Season Finale of American Idol

  • k-avatarBe my guest.
  • “God bless you, Sam.”
  • She was at last able to weep
  • taken refuge in the bathtub
  • impulsively kissed Rhoda Johnson’s cheek

When Samantha saw the season finale of American Idol, she was at last able to weep.

Ever since his ouster, Sanjaya had taken refuge in the bathtub. He knocked on her door in the dead of night and asked if he could stay.

Be my guest.”

“God bless you, Sam.”

What could she say? He knew things about her, things Simon must never find out.

It wasn’t a secret that she’d impulsively kissed Rhoda Johnson’s cheek. No, the secret things were far more sinister, and sensual.

Would she ever be able to take a bath again? Or would Sanjaya stay in the tub forever?

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“Devlin is Such a Scamp!”

  • by jenforcing them to drop their wood
  • kissed each other good morning
  • his manhood in public
  • “Stop him! Stop him!”
  • enormous flocks of ducks
  • wolves, ibex, reindeer
  • reacts in a unique egotistic manner

“Devlin is such a scamp!” exclaimed Minerva du Mauvais to Bogman Bill after they kissed each other good morning, chastely, as was their custom. “Whenever he accomplishes something grand he reacts in a unique egotistic manner by exposing his manhood in public while surrounded by enormous flocks of ducks, wolves, ibex, reindeer, and children. The first time he did this it was so amusing! He paraded past a group of villagers out collecting firewood for the coming winter, forcing them to drop their wood in astonishment at the size and beauty of his man-meat, and causing the faint-of-heart to cry, ‘Stop him! Stop him!’

She smiled indulgently at the memory.

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Dizzy Fracas

Today we offer two versions of the same prompt, one written by Kent and one by Jen. This prompt is a simplified form of the stichomancy prompts we use most often. Instead of phrases or sentence fragments, we have a short list of words that must be included.

  • dizzy
  • fracas
  • gender
  • curve

k-avatarKent’s take:

In the tumultuous midst of a fracas

Said the dizzy lad, “Here’s where your mistake is

Although I’m quite slender

I assure you my gender

Has no curve: my bosom all fake is.”

by jen

 

Jen’s take:

“All I said was I like the gender with curves,” Sam said, gazing out the window at the flaming chaos below.

Gina replied, “Well, Samantha, this is a pretty conservative town. An announcement like that coming from the new librarian is bound to make some of the gentry dizzy.”

“I suppose you’re right. I should have expected it. But, Gina, this fracas is making me horny. Take off your spectacles and kiss me!”

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