Tagged: doctor

Enchanted Mariner Ducks

During October we will be sharing passages that we’ve written independently from the same prompt.

  • enchanted mariner ducks
  • striped scarlet luminescent work-coats
  • low relief with pubic hair
  • the feathery roots of his water hyacinths
  • “Stop quoting Lewis Carroll at me!”
  • tear a larynx

Kent’s Take

I sat in Doctor Entenman’s waiting room, hoping the décor wasn’t indicative of his qualifications as an otolaryngologist. All the others in town were closed for the holiday. The artworks showed truly horrific taste, made more sickening by the realization that the good doctor was himself the artist. A garish neon abstract took up most of the wall facing me, and was accompanied by a plaque bearing its title: “In which the enchanted mariner ducks out of the saloon to escape constables attired in striped scarlet luminescent work-coats.” Above my head was a matted atrocity, a low relief with pubic hair, evidently meant to signify the feathery roots of his water hyacinths. I heard raised voices, first a woman shrieking something about being behind schedule, and then a man bellowing “Stop quoting Lewis Carroll at me!” I supposed I’d chosen a bad week to tear a larynx.

bonus points for using them in order!

Jen’s Take

by jenThe great artist and his assistant stood by in their striped scarlet luminescent work-coats while the phalanx of critics examined his latest creation.

“You say it’s called ‘enchanted mariner ducks,’ and yet I detect nothing of the waterfowl in its design,” said the most unctuous of the bunch, a man known to be overly fond of the feathery roots of his water hyacinths, if you know what I mean.

“Curious, isn’t it,” said Hieronymus Warhol.

“This is clearly a bas-relief, and yet under ‘medium’ you have declared that it is ‘low relief with pubic hair.’ Not only is that not a real medium, it’s also disgusting!”

“Curiouser and curiouser,” replied Warhol.

“Stop quoting Lewis Carroll at me!” cried the critic.

“As soon as you tear a larynx,” drawled the artist. “Preferably your own.”

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What do you think? Who handled this prompt better?

Oh Hell

  • a paper cup of hot chocolate
  • sat neatly on the back of her neck
  • Allan Goth, the unshutupable
  • Nothing exotic.
  • She’s a trained beautician
  • “Well, Dr Greenlea,”
  • we’re going to nail Aaron’s ex-wife
  • The red-haired boy was on his left
  • Oh hell
  • I disagree with this brash fool

Oh hell. Here comes Allan Goth, the unshutupable. He’ll have some screwball order, as usual. “What’ll it be today, Al?”

“Nothing exotic. A paper cup of hot chocolate, with an olive.”

“Comin’ right up.” Weirdo.

“And later,” here he goes, he’ll talk all night, “we’re going to nail Aaron’s ex-wife. She’s a trained beautician if I’m a kangaroo. Which I’m not. Jeff should have listened to me and had his nails done at Mario’s, the red-haired boy was on his left and they were really hitting it off. I said he should stay, but he announced ‘I disagree with this brash fool‘ like he has any real sense of his own, I mean Aaron told him never to go near his ex but what do you think he did next?”

“Well, Dr Greenlea, my mom’s gynecologist, would say –”

“Screw that quack. He wasn’t even there. So Jeff lost a finger, long story short, and Aaron’s ex just saddled her mare and left. But I don’t know where she got such an odd saddle. And the horse must be a masochist if she likes it. The saddle she used sat neatly on the back of her neck.”

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Leonard is a Strange Person

  • by jenthe kitchen will have been aired out
  • I’ve been up for x-rays
  • making it a family affair
  • had seen that ghostly face!
  • until it was eleven
  • Leonard is a strange person

Leonard is a strange person. How I wish I never had seen that ghostly face! But see it I did on that fateful February day, along with my wife, my sister-in-law, and my six nephews, making it a family affair.

I’ve been up for for x-rays numerous times since in a futile attempt to discern what Leonard did to us, but so far the doctors have been unable to offer a diagnosis.

Whatever Leonard, that strange person, did it caused us all to become confused about our favorite television programs, and is most confounding.

My poor wife will open the kitchen window for a moment to clear the smell of frying sausages, but will become distracted pondering whether she prefers David Letterman or Conan O’Brien, and by the time she figures it out the kitchen will have been aired out until it was eleven degrees!

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