Tagged: doctor

I Twitched My Eyelid

  • by jencouldn’t see what was in the crotch
  • slept under a picture of a bear
  • flutes of champagne
  • your big girl panties
  • mountain honeycombed with caves

Tune in next time part 463      Click Here for Earlier Installments

I twitched my eyelid at Doctor Nanna to signal that I’d heard her message. Her lips relaxed into a slight smile. I wasn’t fluent in Academy staff slang, but I thought I knew what her unicorn comment meant. Unfortunately I couldn’t see what was in the crotch of her leotard to confirm, because it was hidden behind her surgical apron. I kept an eye on her as she flitted around the nursery, tending to Isolde and the infants.

“Every great warlord in Contraria’s history has slept under a picture of a bear,” Isolde said, gazing at the cartoony creatures adorning the walls. “This will do nicely.”

A 3-star yodeler arrived with flutes of champagne for Isolde and myself. “To the children.” I raised my glass.

“To the children,” Isolde agreed. She downed the champagne in one long pull and gave a dainty, giggling burp. “How many are there?” she asked. “I lost count. I felt like a baby piñata!”

“I’m not sure,” I said. “Perhaps you should count them.” Behind Isolde, Doctor Nanna bent over a cradle and I finally had confirmation of her message.

I left Isolde with a second glass of champagne, and joined Doctor Nanna in the corner where we spoke in low voices. “I saw your big girl panties,” I said.

“I’d heard you were a clever boy, good with codes.” She handed me a swaddled infant. “This fortress is built on a mountain honeycombed with caves. That’s where those yeti took Jim.  I don’t need to tell you how dangerous this situation is.”

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Our Plans Worked to Perfection

  • k-avatarscreen door of his sleeping porch
  • impatiently explains to strangers
  • very sore and humiliated
  • save for spasmodic jumping
  • Our plans worked to perfection

Our plans worked to perfection, save for spasmodic jumping. We didn’t anticipate that side effect. The rats showed no such symptoms during our preliminary experiments, and we still haven’t pinned down the cause. Anyway, Fleming is very sore and humiliated, and I find it delightful to observe as he impatiently explains to strangers, through the screen door of his sleeping porch, that he’s a government agent working deep cover to expose illicit and unethical psychological research at the university. He evidently doesn’t know we carted him across the border, and these strangers don’t speak English.

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“It Might Interest the Patient”

  • k-avatartheatrically emotional
  • accomplish
  • interest
  • circumcision

“It might interest the patient that his becoming theatrically emotional is entirely apropos in an operating theatre, but I would remind him that his state of mind will limit the effects of hypnosis, under which I shall accomplish his circumcision due to his refusal of any other anesthetic.”

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Helen Had Almost Finished

  • k-avatar— and to a lesser extent the cat and the horse
  • “Exactly!” whispered the doctor
  • finished powdering her nose
  • a killer whale’s muzzle
  • felt a strange quiver
  • dark brown man

Helen had almost finished powdering her nose, which was a noteworthy accomplishment. It looked like nothing so much as a killer whale’s muzzle, broad yet graceful, and packed with needle-sharp teeth.

Lurking in the closet, and watching Helen’s reflection through a gap in the door, the dark brown man felt a strange quiver. He drew a deep breath.

“Be still!” hissed a nearly inaudible voice behind him. Hunkered below the hanging skirts and gowns were two more people, and it was the gawky northerner who’d shushed him. The other,  a savage beauty almost as dark as the dark brown man, rolled her exquisite eyes in a meaningful manner. “Exactly!” whispered the doctor, “— and to a lesser extent the cat and the horse!”

 

 

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For the First Time in My Life

  • by jenswooning to the floor of the hospital
  • I was committing a sin
  • fantastically gilded and filagreed
  • stifling fumes from the damp earth
  • mute and inglorious
  • would a number of men so dragged a corpse

For the first time in my life I was committing a sin, and I decided that I wanted to do it memorably, and commit the most fantastically gilded and filagreed sin in history, a sin that would leave battle-hardered surgeons mute and ingloriously swooning to the floor of the hospital where they would breathe deeply of the stifling fumes from the damp earth and wonderingly ask one another under what circumstances could or would a number of men so dragged a corpse as artfully as I, metaphorically speaking.

 

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As the Silence of the Sea Swallowed Her

  • k-avatara vast quantity of seaweed
  • the silence of the sea
  • swallowed her brandy
  • applying the battery to one of the pectoral muscles
  • dropped the obsolete word
  • our hands full with the silkworms

As the silence of the sea swallowed her, Brandy sank calmly through the warm, dark blue. The surface was enshrouded by a vast quantity of seaweed, rendering even this shallow depth as murky as the trench miles below. Brandy’s mind grew as dark as the silent sea.

…

“Her color’s poor, but that can be remedied by applying the battery to one of the pectoral muscles.”

Before Brandy could raise any objections, her color was (presumably) improved. I’ll be fine in a trice, she thought.

“How are you?” inquired the doctor with the electrical fixation.

“I’ll be fine,” Brandy reiterated aloud, although she dropped the obsolete word. “Where am I?”

“SeaSilk HQ. Your arrival was quite unexpected and we were unprepared to treat you. We have our hands full with the silkworms.”

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After My Ankle Surgery

  • by jennever pick up a stray kitten
  • don’t strain yourself
  • We should get married more often
  • a cuddlesome wench on each side
  • He pointed at my foot
  • I wiggled like a puppy

After my ankle surgery, my mother just wouldn’t shut up with the “helpful” advice. “Don’t strain yourself,” she insisted. “You don’t want to open the stitches back up.”

“Sure, Ma,” I repeated into the phone, but she wasn’t happy until I promised to never pick up a stray kitten again. I couldn’t really blame her for worrying. The last kitten had hidden beneath the sofa and swiped her talons right through my achilles tendon, thus necessitating the surgery.

My new husband came into the room, followed by the doctor with a cuddlesome wench on each side. Nurses, I assumed.

The doctor sat on the edge of my bed. He pointed at my foot. “Feeling better now?” he asked, and then tickled the sole. I wiggled like a puppy shaking itself dry.

“Good,” said the doctor, and he left, taking the cuddlesome wenches with him.

“I’m sorry we have to spend our honeymoon in the hospital,” I said to my husband.

“We should get married more often,” he laughed.

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“Now You May Feel a Momentary Discomfort”

  • k-avatarjust a nip
  • a Swedish gynecologist
  • such as Mr T
  • we watched professional bowling
  • This angered Bruno

“Now you may feel a momentary discomfort, just a nip.”

Sue nodded, wondering how a dental procedure came to be invented by a Swedish gynecologist. Also wondering why her dentist had a mohawk. The hair would look normal on some outrageous celebrity, such as Mr T. On a dentist it looked like he couldn’t possibly be a real dentist.

I have got to get better insurance, Sue thought. Then she winced, but only for a moment.

“There, that wasn’t so bad, right?”

She nodded again, then shook her head, then tried to smile apologetically and that really hurt because of the way her lips were stretched out of the way.

“It’s okay, I understand,” her dentist assured her hastily. “I haven’t seen such a confused sequence of emotions since we watched professional bowling with my uncle, and my cousin Bruno rolled seven consecutive strikes but lost the match.” He sighed. “This angered Bruno so badly that he bit through a pin. Which is how I got into dentistry.”

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Fear-Joy

Today we offer two versions of the same prompt, one written by Jen and one by Kent. This prompt is a simplified form of the stichomancy prompts we use most often. Instead of phrases or sentence fragments, we have a short list of words that must be included.

  • concerned
  • concentration
  • fear-joy
  • murderous physicians

by jenJen’s take:

“Murderous physicians fill me with fear-joy,” Joanne told her concerned therapist. “Doctors in general frighten me with their looks of caring concentration, their probing questions, their needles, and nasal-lights. And yet, their deadly intentions, the dangers they represent, are a turn-on.”

 

k-avatarKent’s take:

Fear-joy heightened all Carlos’s senses in the waiting room. The idea that he was perhaps waiting to see one of the murderous physicians he’d read about made him giddy, stoking the fetishistic core of his mind to a white glow. He directed all his concentration at a magazine. Outwardly, no one would know of his agitation. He did not look at all concerned.

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“Can I Help You?”

  1. by jenCharacter – not-so-handy man
  2. Setting – the lost and found
  3. Object – entrails
  4. Situation – missing spectacles

“Can I help you?”

Jerry squinted at the woman behind the counter. “I lost my glasses.”

She just stood there. Jerry squinted again. She looked horrified.

“Look lady, I’m in a bit of a hurry. I was trying to build my kids a tree-house, but without my glasses something went wrong with the circular saw.” Jerry shifted his grip on his gaping gut and shoved a loop of intestines back inside. “I tried to close it up with a staple gun, but I don’t think it’s gonna hold. I need to get to the doctor. Do you have my glasses or not?”

The woman fainted. Great.

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