Tagged: cat

“What a Magnificent Periscope!”

  • by jenrecently found love for the colloquialisms
  • and six half-brothers
  • hoped it was a prank
  • your crazy-ass granddaddy
  • cats are not a rare species

Tune in next time part 471      Click Here for Earlier Installments

“What a magnificent periscope!” Oksana squealed.

For one chilling second I thought I’d been spotted, until I realized she was utterly fixated on what she’d found in Jim’s leather trousers. I had no interest in watching their libidinal activities, so I put my own (actual) periscope away. I could still hear them, though.

Jim purred, “Your recently found love for the Colloquialisms is adorable.”

“Colloquilia is a beautiful country,” Oksana said, her voice breathy. “And their figures of speech even more so.”

“I used to spend summers there with my twin sisters and six half-brothers,” Jim drawled.

That was a lie. With our father and mother both being president at various times, travel to the enemy nation of Colloquilia was strictly forbidden. I didn’t know what Jim was up to, but I hoped it was a prank as opposed to treason.

Jim went on, “Why did your crazy-ass granddaddy abdicate the throne?”

“He didn’t have a choice, if he wanted to live,” Oksana replied. “Now, Jim, I want you to stalk me like a Paradoxica Snow Panther.”

Oksana was Colloquilian? Snow cats are not a rare species here in the mountains, but exiled Colloquilian royalty certainly are.

What was Jim up to?

bonus points for using them in order

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

I Ducked Behind an Extensive Knot of Piping

  • by jenShe was fair-skinned and red-headed
  • a fragment of quartz
  • A French man and his cat
  • All was wedded bliss until
  • he is a miracle child

Tune in next time part 261                           Click Here for Earlier Installments

I ducked behind an extensive knot of piping in the submarine’s murky passageway and peered back into the control room as Jason followed his female companion in. She was fair-skinned and red-headed, with eyes as sharp as a fragment of quartz, and I recognized her immediately as Tessa’s sister Tesla. The two had often banded together against Tallulah and the others, back at the Academy. All that changed after graduation, though. A French man and his cat seduced Tesla and bundled her off to Nantes to be their bride. All was wedded bliss until she caught both Yves and Lionel in bed with the man who operated the steampunk elephant at Les Machines de L’ile. Her heart broken, Tesla went into seclusion. As far as I knew, her whereabouts were a complete unknown, and yet here she was with my twin, and this reedy-voiced individual.

“Stop talking about him as if he is a miracle child,” Reedy Voice said. “You’re all so fascinated with him, but is he really all that different from Jason?”

bonus points for using them in order

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

The Cat Ate My Homework

The great thing about having houseguests is we get to blame our lack of productivity on them. Plus, they brought their cat along, which gives Lady Marzipan someone to blame her lack of sanity on.

Poet, Sir?

  • by jenPoet, sir?
  • lie festering in the crowded alleys
  • inherently disturbing but not gory
  • a jar of warm sputum
  • concentrating on my landlady’s cat

Poet, sir? You dare call me a poet? Do I have the look of one who would lie festering in the crowded alleys of Paris, drunk and penniless? The insinuation behind your “casual” inquiry is inherently disturbing but not gory, much like a jar of warm sputum. It tells me much about you, this assumption of yours in regards to my occupation. You presume I am concentrating on my landlady’s cat in preparation of writing an ode or a sonnet or — shudder – a limerick, when that is not the case at all. I am concentrating on my landlady’s cat so that I might learn to read his thoughts and gain valuable intelligence about my landlady’s comings and goings. Good day to you, sir. I say, good day!

bonus points for using them in order!

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

The Condition of the Sheets

  • k-avataran army of sweating mules
  • supple-looking, with iridescent lapels
  • “like a cat?”
  • a month’s rent in advance
  • the Trump Bordello
  • wearing only yachtsman’s loafers and underpants

The condition of the sheets suggested that the bed had been the scene of some great undertaking by an army of sweating mules. But the condition of Rodrigo’s attire made it clear that, if he’d had any part in those labors, he was now above such menial things and destined for a corner office. His lime-green corduroy trousers were counterpointed by a plasticine blazer in tones of orange and gold, supple-looking, with iridescent lapels. (It was surely a very stylish corner office.)

Three sharp knocks at the door. Rodrigo crossed the suite and opened the door to Faye-Wren, his confidante, his bookie, and his hired wrench. Her pillbox sat askew to the right, meaning her latest assignment had been completed successfully. The twinkle in her almond eyes meant she’d heard about Rodrigo’s exploits of the previous night. “Was she very flexible and fastidious?” Faye-Wren asked impertinently, “like a cat?”

Rodrigo responded with a lazy-eyed smile. His carnal escapades had centered on someone quite catlike, but not feminine in the least. By paying a month’s rent in advance, he got first pick of the diversions on offer at the Trump Bordello.

It was then that Faye-Wren doffed her hat, and Rodrigo saw that the gesture left her wearing only yachtsman’s loafers and underpants.

 

bonus points for using them in order!

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

Andrew Lloyd Webber Read the Theater Reviews

  • by jenthey’ve ruined my show
  • sang the last line of the song
  • that fateful morning
  • no one mocked his old lady voice
  • you are so flamboyantly much
  • hung from hooks

Andrew Lloyd Webber read the theater reviews with a sinking heart that fateful morning.

“They’ve ruined my show!” he cried.

“You are so flamboyantly much more important in your own mind than you are in the real world,” goaded his daughter Catherine.

Andrew looked at her and noticed for the first time that tiny wooden fish hung from hooks in her ears.

Catherine grabbed the paper and read the most scathing lines of the review out loud. “Gary Sinise was not the best choice for the role of Grandma Kittywhiskers. I’d like to say no one mocked his old lady voice, but I can’t. The crowd erupted in giggles repeatedly, most notably at the end of ‘Crazy Cat Lady Blues’ when he sang the last line of the song a cappella.”

Andrew hung his head in shame.

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

The Sheep/Goat Mutual Aid Society

  • k-avatarhis own club lashed out
  • the street sneezed
  • warm salty water in my mouth
  • and crouched while she drank it
  • she was a limp doll

The Sheep/Goat Mutual Aid Society printed a scathing pamphlet about Harvey, and his own club lashed out with a retort in the form of a full-page ad that Sunday. All was politics as usual, until either a Sheep or a Goat used a blowgun to take Harvey out of the picture.

Harvey lay there, and the street sneezed under him. The poison of the dart twisted the world into rippling fever-dreams, and he could only lay still and wonder if he would survive.

So much warm salty water in my mouth, Harvey thought. He couldn’t breathe. But a cat trotted up to him, and purred in his ear, and crouched while she drank it.

Having saved his life, she was a limp doll across his chest.

 

bonus points for using them in order!

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

“Really, Winifred”

  • k-avatarfrom your clogged and sputtery pen
  • “It’s a farmer’s job.”
  • The goat raised her head
  • Like kittens about to ignominiously drowned
  • Russia, without a doubt
  • “Really, Winifred,”
  • Agriculture is a broad field
  • carefully maneuvered herself between Angel and Will

“Really, Winifred,” Walter sighed. “It’s a farmer’s job.”

Winifred smirked. “It’s like you always say, though. Agriculture is a broad field. Why shouldn’t a broad stand out in it?”

The goat raised her head, then carefully maneuvered herself between Angel and Will, the pair of mastiffs who kept order in the chickenyard. Walter scratched his chin, looking from the goat to his wife and back. “Okay,” he finally agreed.

Glee made Winifred’s eyes into tiny, happy animals. Like kittens about to be ignominiously drowned. Walter knew she would soon beg him to take over, but meanwhile she would learn another side of the business. Where had she picked up such curiosity? Russia, without a doubt.

Maybe the mail-order marriage hadn’t been such a good idea. The magazine ad had been too irresistible — “A beauty who will keep you warm, for just a few words from your clogged and sputtery pen.”

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

“No, no, no, no, no, Chico!”

  • by jenhe was like a cat pouncing
  • immobility his eyebrow moved
  • noticed the colour of your dressing gown
  • rather the Latin temperament
  • Not even a compromising bequest!
  • a most awkward mistake
  • They die, yes

“No, no, no, no, no, Chico!” screamed Thelonious Tharp, and Chico Desideria knew that once again he had made a most awkward mistake. Chico both admired and despised his choreographer and mentor, Thelonious. Admired him for the way that when he danced he was like a cat pouncing, despised him because he possessed rather the Latin temperament and made no move to disguise it.

Chico knew what mistake he’d made this time. He was supposed to prance and cavort, leap awkwardly in time to the arrhythmic music, and then freeze. But despite his required immobility his eyebrow moved. Thelonious was livid, as usual.

“Chico, today when you left the dressing room I noticed the colour of your dressing gown had changed and I hoped that your attitude had changed along with your sartorial choices. I was wrong! You are as useless as ever! And you know, don’t you Chico, what the parents of one as unimpressive as you do? They die, yes, die! Of shame! And they leave nothing to their disappointing offspring, Chico. Not even a compromising bequest!”

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!

After My Ankle Surgery

  • by jennever pick up a stray kitten
  • don’t strain yourself
  • We should get married more often
  • a cuddlesome wench on each side
  • He pointed at my foot
  • I wiggled like a puppy

After my ankle surgery, my mother just wouldn’t shut up with the “helpful” advice. “Don’t strain yourself,” she insisted. “You don’t want to open the stitches back up.”

“Sure, Ma,” I repeated into the phone, but she wasn’t happy until I promised to never pick up a stray kitten again. I couldn’t really blame her for worrying. The last kitten had hidden beneath the sofa and swiped her talons right through my achilles tendon, thus necessitating the surgery.

My new husband came into the room, followed by the doctor with a cuddlesome wench on each side. Nurses, I assumed.

The doctor sat on the edge of my bed. He pointed at my foot. “Feeling better now?” he asked, and then tickled the sole. I wiggled like a puppy shaking itself dry.

“Good,” said the doctor, and he left, taking the cuddlesome wenches with him.

“I’m sorry we have to spend our honeymoon in the hospital,” I said to my husband.

“We should get married more often,” he laughed.

about stichomancy writing prompts

try our stichomancy writing prompt generator!