Once He Was Barefoot
and then await instructions- crowned by telephone wires
- “Sure you gonna go home, Johnny! I know you are.”
- doctors weren’t able to analyze the semen samples
- and tell them to be punctual
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Once he was barefoot, the enigmatic stranger fished a sheet of paper out of his right moccasin and handed it to me. It was damp with foot-sweat. From the left he fished another note, which he tucked between Svetlana’s lips, making her wrinkle her nose.
“Go to these coordinates once you’ve decoded them, and then await instructions,” the man said as he slipped his feet back into their buckskin sheaths. While he was doubled over I noticed that his head was crowned by telephone wires and the feathers I spotted earlier were actually live birds tethered there.
“I’d rather go home than to your mysterious coordinates, dude,” I said.
“Sure you gonna go home, Johnny! I know you are.” His tone was mocking.
Why did he think I was John? Was it because I was in the company of Svetlana? She was trying to spit the notepaper out of her mouth, presumably to tell this man I was not her brother, but the paper stuck to her lips and tongue, and everything she said was muffled into indistinguishability.
“Things are heating up,” the man said, straightening, and ignoring Svetlana’s sputterings. “Our doctors weren’t able to analyze the semen samples because they were all contaminated with monkey semen.” He smiled briefly. “The samples were contaminated, not the doctors. Anyway, we need to collect fresh samples from everyone, so go to those coordinates, call your team, and tell them to be punctual. We can’t afford another screw-up.” He shook my hand, gave Svetlana a nod, and sprinted down the alley to a waiting limousine.
Svetlana finally spat her paper gag onto the ground and yelled, “This isn’t John!” at the receding black car.
I scooped up her soggy note and stuck it in my pocket along with my own.
“Now, what’s all this about semen?” I asked.
bonus points for using them in order