Although My Heart Wasn’t In It

  • by KentQuick, grab the beer!
  • his hobgoblin smile
  • some names have been changed
  • That’s the whole fucking point of having a twin sister
  • you know I hate pop music

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Although my heart wasn’t in it, I had to commit fully to Fleur’s Contrarian customs. I yelled the first thing that came to mind, wanting to score points by speaking up before she could.

“Look! It’s a cave where we can party! Quick, grab the beer!

“Tequila would be more appropriate, since you’ve already brought the worm!” she bellowed.

Unfazed, I retorted, “Wait, looks like some kind of vermin already lives here — I see his hobgoblin smile!”

“Believe me, there’s nothing for that poor creature to smile about,” she shot back.

The rest of our battle of slights has become part of the Contrarian Canonical Wedding Vows, although some names have been changed. The revision to the traditional reading did strengthen the treaty between Contraria and the US, or, as the president put it, “That’s the whole fucking point of having a twin sister,” leaving out the part about actually being the twin sister in question.

But we didn’t realize we were reshaping political reality, we just got lost in our duel. Eventually her father came back into the tent to make us stop, carrying a boom box with horrible, bland melodies blaring.

“I wouldn’t have done this if I didn’t have to,” he said. “You know I hate pop music.”

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